Even the evil relax

If a picture is worth a thousand words, this is an essay. At least it is in my classes. Anything longer and the students do that thing where they panic and pout at the same time. It’s so confusing.

Credits to creators
Zibska, Hailey ~ Ruby [sz1] (NEW; ty Zib Scaggs)
:[P]:- Astrali Skin[Toned-Down]:// Calypso
:[P]:- Soul Ink Reloaded://(Tint):Liv
:[P]:- Soul Ink Reloaded://(Tint):Jame
:[P]:-Haunt Collection-Sickness eyes
N.B. All of these Plastik extras have been packed with skin releases for Lazy Sundays. Collect, people, collect.
Aeva // Eyelashes // Long Lashes
Epic, Pierced gold horns (was a freebie at ???)
.:EMO-tions:. STARLINE-braided tattoo / darkred
.Maitreya Gold * Moxie Coal
^^Swallow^^ Bad Ring Gold & Pink
ooo studio and Gos, pouffe
Everybody GIMPs

Hey lady!

The Aquarius Zodiac month ends on the 13th, so you should surf over there soon if you want a nifty mermaid bra by Brutus Martinek of Pididdle. JesyLilo’s loose-fit jeans feature portholes on the outside of each leg. Why I do not know. Perhaps to show off a tattooed tangle of kelp.

Meanwhile, back on shore, Sopha Portal has released a new skin called Vivian. As with her other recent skins, Vivian is available in a pack with eight soft and sweet makeups. Six of these feature orange-red lips, and two, including the one I’m showing here, run to pink. I tend to think I don’t like anything named after a princess or a lapdog, but Aranel Ah’s Tiffany colour makes BOOM’s beautifully sculpted, nubbly textured Duveteux Rayonnant jacket absolutely irresistible. As far as I’m concerned, Ms. Ah has the all clear for Savannah and Felicity.

Credits to creators
Look one
PIDIDDLE – Sea Maiden Bra – Sea Princess (NEW at Zodiac; ty Brutus Martinek!)
::Exile:: A Winter’s Tale:Beach
*JeSyLiLO*:::Knotted Jeans:::*Dirty XS (NEW; ty Lilo Glom!)
Adam n Eve Clothes, Ana Lace Panty Popcorn
Graves, Cuffs from G329
-Belleza- Wynter skin (old 50L Friday)
MONS / Shocking eyes – blue
The Muse Poses, Venus (at Fashion Limited; ty Audrey Cresci!)

Look two
*MY UGLYDOROTHY -Vivian05(Burly) [available in three tones] (NEW; ty Sopha Portal!)
*MY UGLYDOROTHY -Cleaves tattoo1(Burly) (tat cleavage sold separately)
*BOOM* Duveteux Rayonnant Jacket (Tiffany) (mesh) (NEW; ty Aranel Ah!)
Maitreya Flare Jeans (for heels) * M #6
welldone.atelier/ Gold Deer rings (at fi*friday, pack includes gold and silver)
[e] Abbey – Red 05 (on sale)
Clemmm – Window Ocean eyes
focus poses, winter set (at Limited Bazaar)

GIMP your own, these are mine. (I shot these to look more yellow than they appear in a standard AnaLu studio 5 light. So please do try demos!)

Higher ground

Bela Tolsen of Tuttifrutti has just released an exciting assortment of leggings to suit every taste. There’s a classic Burberry check, a delicate camouflage pattern, a cool aztec print and any number of colourful abstract and geometric styles. I chose the Running leggings to go with Portia’s free coat from Essences. I love the unusual colour of this coat and its distinctive old newspaper print. A Womenstuff Hunt gift, the pack also contains a black version for those of you who are mourning the loss of Elena’s humanity.

Be sure to check out the Unhinged Festival, which is raising funds for Eku Zhong. Treatment for thyroid cancer has left Ms. Zhong’s skull fragile, and she needs a prosthesis. Given the circumstances, I have to applaud the organizers’ boldly black humorous logo of a skull with an unhinged jaw. Many of the items at the festival are skull-themed, and there are plenty of gachas to make you crazy. Sakide’s Cranium Ring, shown here, comes in a series of bold colours and a series of pale shades. I also played gacha for a pair of lassitude & ennui’s beautifully textured flat suede boots, which rise to mid-calf and feature an embroidered sugar skull. Get your ghoul on for a good cause.

Credits to creators
*TuttiFrutti* Layer Legging (Running)
Essences – Papercoat Moondust XS (Womenstuff Hunt)
Sakide, Black Cranium Ring Teal (gacha at Unhinged Festival; see above for details)
[ glow ] studio – Wild Shoulder Drape (brown fawn/gold)) [colour change buttons] (at Around the World)
SOUL. Womanstuff Hunt Noa Skin (Womenstuff Hunt)
/Wasabi Pills/ Christy Mesh Hair – Chocolate
h.m.a.e.m. – bag 0320 – mokka
LaGyo_Zarema gloves Brandy
Maitreya Mesh * Devi Booties S Redwood
poses: PDA, gold/ivory and dead love
location: NODE store
GIMP is your friend. (I faked the lining of the coat. And the buttons in the shoulder drape, which wouldn’t photograph at all angles. I tried to desausage Portia’s fingers. Sigh.)

Licking my chops

I’ve been reading Angela Carter’s The Bloody Chamber, which is supposed to be a collection of feminist retellings of fairytales. Several of the stories turn on encounters between teenage girls and animals. In one, Beauty transforms the Beast into a man with her love. In another… Well, let’s just say that those transformations can work both ways. And poor sweet Beauty missed out on some very sexy sex. The stories inspired today’s outfit, which sees Portia looking satisfied after sharing a barbecued big bad wolf with grannie and the woodsman, who turned out to be gran’s boytoy. That’s right: gran’s the original cougar. If you don’t like to read books, you might see if you can rent The Company of Wolves, a fascinating film written by Carter and director Neil Jordan.

This week I had my eye on some cool but pricey new jumpsuits. I decided to stop denying myself and splurge on whatever I wanted. To my surprise, instead of heading for Diram or Celoe, my av returned to Fameshed to drool again over Fanatik’s beautifully textured leather dresses. It seems I have some catching up to do in the not-denying-myself department.

Credits to creators
:FANATIK: Leather & Lace dress Brown S (NEWISH at Fameshed)
-tb- C88 Lace Dress – Brown [worn underneath] (old Collabor88 item)
Remy, BeastHood(FurCast)-M-OldFur/Brown (NEW at Around the World in Africa)
::Exile:: Little Things:Dirty [damn I love this hair]
{.essences.} Maria skin *Soleil dark* Sugar (NEW at TDR)
*League* Folklore Leggings -Ziggy (pl)
Maitreya, Devi Booties Rosewood (another catch-up splurge)
::je suis…grande::browns::bangles
:: Purple Moon :: Noble Ring in Walnut
poses: The Muse Poses, Tyche pack; PDA
location: Wretched Hollow

Don’t hunt alone

You can shop, and you can blog, but that doesn’t mean you can hunt. Portia was so looking forward to accessorizing some adorable FTLO…Science Hunt frock with her first Truth hair, her first Maitreya Gold shoes, and her first (official) Tres Blah skin. And what did she snag on her hunting trip? Sweet dick all, as my mother used to say. So, today Portia bears (or bares) the humiliation of wearing only the keychain sent to her by Cool Beans. In her defense, I would like to point out that the little blue hunt robot is so small that Portia’s favourite vibrator is three times the size, a lot more fun, and rechargeable to boot.

There are a couple of lessons to be learned from Portia’s failings. First, make sure you put your keys on your fancy FTLO keychain before you impulsively storm mostly naked out of your new Abode home. Second, don’t hunt alone. Apart from offering you assistance, other hunters whom you meet inworld or chat with through the hunters’ group will become an insta-posse armed with hysteria-fueled humour. I haven’t met a best friend or the man of my dreams on hunts, but I have flirted with some fabulously dressed women and punned my mouth off with all and sundry. And I once had an extraordinary experience with a hunter who was following her nose around the sim while I worked out the elaborate riddle-clues she was finding. Combining strategies made it possible for us to find all the gifts, which quickly dispersed our thoughts of taking epic revenge on the devilish creator.

For more info about the FTLO hunt, visit http://www.wix.com/ForTheLoveOf/FTLO.

Credits to creators
thingummy: Cool Beans, FTLO Science-Keychain
hair: Truth, Gloria Treacle
skin: Tres Blah, Pale Jejune Prissy
shoes: Maitreya Gold, Allure Tights Black
pose with goofy face: Croire, Panties Pose (Starlust Panty Raid dollarbie)
dress: Boom, Carbon Ion
home: Abode, Pastel Row House (former hunt gift)

“Ever been to sea, Billy?”

I know that I shouldn’t fear The Sea Hole. It’s just another boutique. Even if it is draped in nets and smells faintly of krill, it’s no scarier than Pig or F’d Up or Inzane Klown Killz 7. (Okay, I made that last one up.) But think about all those eerie creatures that Drinkenstein Sorbet likes to draw on her outfits: they move weirdly in dark waters, their pincers and tentacles at the ready. Even when I don’t worry about being ravaged by tentacles, I can’t help fearing the sea. It’s all very well to be welcomed aboard a pirate ship by a sexy captain in a chic Harem Jumpsuit.

But how do you know she isn’t a ghost determined to take you deep into some depthy sea hole off the coast of Nova Scotia? A couple of suggestions: giant hats adorned with model schooners are always a sign of the supernatural; and you cannot trust an AV wearing Gato’s Dragon makeup, with cleavage or without. (Gato, by the way, will temporarily close its skin shop, so individual skins are now on sale for 100L and fatpacks are 500L.)

We all know that bone-chilling things occur at sea. Things like the blowing of cold, brisk air and the consumption of caviar. When I was ten, I crossed the Atlantic ocean on a Russian ship and was so hungry that I ate every last completely unrecognizable thing on my plate.

Yes indeed, the sea air makes everyone indiscriminate.

Credits to creators
Look one
outfit: The Sea Hole, Harem Jumpsuit Black (from Pookie Flea Market)
hat: Bare Rose [B@R], Hat B from the Pirates Ball outfit
skin: Gato, Dragon Cleavage (gg)
hair: Lamb, Lost Milk
necklace: Primalot, Mine! [click on the pic to see the octopus in the cameo] (subo gift)
shoes: Maitreya Gold, Allure Tights
poses: C.O.D. and with love & squalor

Look two
skirt: The Sea Hole, Lost at Sea Skirt Okami Villan Crab
top: Surf Couture, Canvas Garden Top Tomato
skin: Cupcakes, Fantasy-Coral-Rainbow (old gg)
hair: Posh, Melody Sunflower (from the big giveaway bag at The Rumor)
jewellery: Bliensen + MaiTai, Snake Charmer (earrings and necklace bought separately at The Washes 10L sale; check the store)
shoes: Maitreya Gold, Allure Tights
prop and pose: ???, Beating Heart (old hunt gift)
blood: A:S:S:, Bloody Hell Full Body Tattoo and Jeans (bought on XStreet)
emotion: Adorkable Poses, Emoter HUD (freebie)

location: Extensor

The professional

As an urban professional, FBI agent Dana Scully always looked over-dressed when she approached the tumble-down shacks of incestuous hillbillies from outer space. I don’t know what got into me at Maitreya. I bought the totally crazy (but fab) sandals with stockings and then, having impulsively clicked on a slim skirt because I liked the colour, told myself that I was restricted to buying one outfit, with everything coordinating, and the overall look neatly tailored. (This, perhaps, is the inevitable effect of faculty meetings.) I had no choice but to obey, because I recognized that RL me was on the mouse: tight-fisted and practical to a fault when it comes to clothing, RL me scorned Maitreya’s buoyant confections and turned Portia into a no-nonsense young professional. Thankfully, Maitreya is not Talbots, so my AV is a little more fashionable than poor Agent Scully in her navy pantsuits.

It’s true that Scully never even considered doffing her jacket to distract the Super Soldier. She would have invested in sleeves, and something to cover her stomach. And neither would be a tattoo. Those only keep you warm in SL.

But I’m almost certain that, at the end of a tough case that required her to save Agent Mulder from a burning building, this is what Scully wore when she rendezvoused with her partner to, erm, check his dressings and chastise him ever so lightly.

Credits to creators
skin: Cupcakes, Dahlia-Copper (former gg)
all these items are from Maitreya
hair: Nimue, Chocolate
shoes: Nevya, Bordeaux Leather (The Deck Anniversary gift)
bra: Bra Top Vintage
undies: High-Waist Pants Chestnut
skirt: HighSkirt Heath
jacket: Short Trench Mauve-Taupe
location: Nomine sim
poses: Open Collar, Sub AO 3.40

Oh to be an alt!

Locked out of my main account, I decided to spend some quality time with Loica Krakauer, my alt. In theory, one’s AV does things one wouldn’t do in real life. In practice, Portia is just as uptight as I am when it comes to being perfectly turned out and politically sensitive. It’s Loica who gets to cut loose. She’s not embarrassed to hang out at Blue Galaxy toting only a Linden library gun that looks like an overgrown hair-dryer. And she smokes…on a space-station! She’s not worried about compromising the air quality, not about your share, at least. If Portia were visiting a space-station, she would bring a potted palm for the greenhouse.

Loica is loyal to designers that Portia doesn’t much like. DV8, for instance, is one of her mainstays, and it was her first stop last night when she was tapped to take over Pleisure duty. She picked up the current group gift (for men, I believe), Fatale 2.0 in Merlot, and snapped up a pack of Morrhigan belts from the Picks Reward, which rotates prizes daily.

Despite the women’s shared enthusiasm for D/S, Portia would never feel comfortable in a camisk. Loica is happy to get her Gor on, but mainly because that means she can pop on Sierra’s tribal tattoo skin and play at being a huntress.

Don’t imagine, however, that Loica spent her day killing things. Inspired by Divine Deviance’s Lockpick outfit, Loica decided instead to burgle the offices in booN/Saikin’s new headquarters. The teddy-bear belt and thigh-pouch of flowers were not exactly the tools she needed for the job, so she improvised with a hairpin from Kookie’s Chiggy updo. If Portia were visiting the new build, she’d say that it reminds her of the Bradbury Building in L.A. and then TP off to find the perfect retro secretary outfit, all the while lecturing Loica about the dangers of colonialist fantasies. Loica would probably just pretend she doesn’t speak English and deftly pick Portia’s pocket.

Credits to creators
Look one
outfit: DV8, Fatale 2.0 Merlot (group gift)
belt: DV8, Iron Morrhigan Belt (Lower Fit)-Espresso (Picks Reward)
hair: DK, Christy-Blackberry
tattoo: Weird Designs, Heart Rocker Tattoo 2 (Lucky Chair)
boots: Maitreya, Soho Boots PatentMix Black (old freebie)
skin: LeLutka, Ife Light (DBrows) (old group gift)
tear: mijn.t, Pierrot le Clown-black tear and glow DUIII (no longer available)
smoke: Free*Style, Schmoking Cigarette (dollarbie)
gun: from the library
eyes: Dime Piece, Eyes-Amethyst (no longer available)
poses: Sweet Lovely Cute, Le.Look la femme AO (no longer available)
location: Blue Galaxy Store

Look two
outfit: Divine Deviance, GGWH Special (Gorean Grid Wide Hunt gift, till June 6: look for the umbrella)
skin: Sierra, Sierra’s Nubian #2 Tattoo Skin (old gift)
hair: Kookie, Chiggy Beta Chocolate Brown
necklace: Rasetsukoku, Til Death…Necklace (TMH Fall 2009 gift)
boots: Coco, Flat Ankle Boots Brown (old group gift)
underwear: Dilly Dolls, Shona Striped Shorts Brown
eyes: Dime Piece, Eyes-Amethyst (no longer available)
poses: Sweet Lovely Cute, Le.Look la femme AO (no longer available)
location: Saikin

Comedy of errors

SL wanted things its way today. I’d heard nothing more about the Trilogy 1940s pinup contest, and I’d also realized that without Photoshop, I couldn’t make a good photo anyway. I decided I might as well join the mob at Phoenix Rising, but SL dumped me into the drink when the TP failed. The water was wonderfully empty and undemanding, and I didn’t need to wait for anything to rez or click on the right square. So I opted to relax and play pinup off the coast of Chile SL, using the Trilogy poses that Purveyors of Accidental Love sent out earlier this week.

An Asian pinup for 1940s America? A Victorian jacket and some cat’s ears? Why the hell not? If you’re shooting pinups underwater you might as well throw in some turf with the surf. (That metaphor may not be sound. At the very least it suggests that I drowned the cat to fill my plate.)

Having shot Portia, I logged off. When I returned later on, I was able to hit The Deck and snag the gift shoes at Maitreya. I wanted to make an African-American pinup out of Loica—why the hell not, right?—and the free heels worked perfectly with her ensemble. I attempted to toss Lo into the Chilean sea with no success. A random TP landed her at the heart of a weird sacred grove called Smells in the Crash, and I figured an all-stone environment was at least a step up from water.

All this because I don’t own Photoshop? Maybe that’s a good thing after all.

Credits to creators

Portia wears
hair: booN, FTN683 in Black (sale item, 60% off till May 17th at the Zapatico location)
ears: Sassy Kitty, Sassy Spring Ears in Black
skin: Tuli, Sayuri tone 1 VIP group special (a)
jacket: Sn@tch, Walk Away Jacket in Brown
romper: fri.day, Paradiso Romper in Coral
shoes: Ingenue at Trilogy, Judy in Citrus
stockings: INZane, Kendra lingerie stockings

Loica wears
hair in 1st pic: Ingenue, Ms. Page in Blueblack
hair in 2nd pic: Ingenue, Boogie Woogie in Natural Black
skin: Belleza, Elle Dark Mocha (cleavage) Group Gift
jacket: Sn@tch, Walk Away Jacket in Wine
underbust corset: Medusa’s Joy, part of Whistle Plum lingerie set (old MM)
lingerie: Pacadi Jasha, Amrita Lingerie (d.hibiscus/raspberry)
shoes: Maitreya at The Deck, Nevya in Bordeaux (free May 8 and 9)

poses: Purveyors of Accidental Love, My Other Fridge is a Porsche pack

In her Easter basket

Portia imagines that, somewhere in the world, it is warm enough to hunt eggs in an outfit as skimpy as this: Blacklace’s Sexy Little Spring Gift with champagne-lace babydoll, and soft 4Cream Suede boots by Mentine. Of course, this would have to be a cosy little hunt à deux, not a family affair or a grid-wide expedition.

Portia closes her eyes and conjures up images of long-eared chocolate rabbits filling her Lil Easter Basket, which she picked up from /Me as part of the stupendous Starlust hunt for giant eggs. Portia sighs. Although she loves the chocolate eggs, she also hungers for a real one, boiled hard.

Highly coloured to attract the male of the species and make her fantasies come true, Portia wears the Punkie Moo Love skin by Miss Murder, a freebie available in a single shade embellished with this beautiful tattoo and piercings. Portia’s hair is Nimue in Chocolate by Maitreya.