Break them in

Bela Tolsen always does jeans for her TuttiFrutti line, and her spring collection offers some sophisticated yet form-fitting takes on the old classic. In addition to a faded pair splotched with clouds and a light pair, she’s created the dark and flowered pairs Portia models today.
Since I am still planning to succumb to the Server Side Baking apocalypse, I’ve been feeling pressure to dress Portia in everything she’s not yet worn. That means finding some silly stuff in the closet. Do these puppets make me look fat?

Credits to creators
pic one: *TuttiFrutti* Denim Mesh Jeans – Dark [XS] (NEW; ty Bela!)
pic two: *TuttiFrutti* Denim Mesh Jeans – Blossom – [XS] (NEW; ty Bela!)
Tee*fy, Ana Slouchy Satin Tank Grey Sheer S (old Collabor88)
.:* LOULOU&CO *:. – Horns :: LIBERTAD :: V.2 (special event, prolly Zodiac)
Glam Affair – Margot – India Clean – Red (at Collabor88)
Aeva // Eyelashes // Long Lashes
[JB] Juicy Box – Beautiful Mess Tattoo
>TRUTH< Elisha w/Roots – copper
CHANTKARE, PONY AROUND RING (old gift)
*REDGRAVE* Audrey2 – PlateauHeels
MONS / Shocking eyes – brown
puppets are an old CuteBytes hunt gift
prop is Glitterati Shopaholic Closet
GIMPed for your pleisure

Puddin’ in plum

I’m often tempted by Severed Garden’s adorable outfits, which always boast beautiful colour combos and loving attention to detail. Usually I resist buying because these ensembles look so much better on girlish bloggers than they do on Portia. A quick trip to Anatomy got me the button-cute av I needed to make the Fiona outfit work. (Btw, Fiona is insanely inexpensive.) One of the latest releases from Bamboo nails gives this look a high-fashion twist. RubyRedRusset’s Spring Orange can be worn with feathery white tips. They’re guaranteed to make you crave a Creamsicle.

Gala Phoenix of Curio skins is planning to retire all of her old skins as of May 4. I can’t decide whether I should retire them from my inventory. I certainly haven’t been willing to give up my Dutch Touch skins. But I always feel as though a blogger has to emphasize the new and available rather than follow her whims. On the other hand, Portia ain’t exactly a trendsetter, so why shouldn’t I follow my own muse?

Credits to creators
.:.*{ Severed.Garden }*.:. Fiona Skulls
{Anatomy} Marlly shape [modded slightly in the bübs]
[7891.] Reply Necklace – Gold (at fi*friday)
[Bamboo] Nails – Spring Orange [NEW; ty RubyRedRusset Resident!]
Curio, Summer-Wild Strawberry 1 in Moonbeam [Dark] tone
[HUZ]-Oriental-Henna-Faded
::dUTCH tOUCH:: AddOns – EyeLashes (not available)
:[Plastik]:-Vaele Coll://Galaxia-Nala eyes
>TRUTH< Claudia – jupiter (big sale at Truth until May 10, not possible to get into sim to see if this is one of the retiring styles)
poses: LAP
GIMPed but not pimped.

Hangs you up the most

They say it’s spring, but the weather outside is still frightful. So I say, what the hell, let’s call it summer. Forget dressing up like a bag of Jordan almonds. Eat the damn almonds; wear sangría.
I’ve been wanting a Glance skin for a while now, specifically because the medium and dark skin tones are so lovely. I got Anais at Skin Fair. She’s a bit dear price-wise, with a bare-face skin at over a 1,000L and separate packs of lipstick and eyeshadow for 500L each. (Good news for those of you who like to make stupid mistakes when buying things: the September lipsticks look just fine on the August tone.)

Credits to creators
*BOOM* Manchesters (lime) xxs (NEW, in mannnyyy colours; ty Ms Ah!)
Leverocci – Sleek Blazer_M_Coral (on sale)
SOUL. Corset Dots S (awesome)
*Glance Skins – Anais – August – Black Brows – Small Cleavage
*Glance Skins – Anais – September – Glossy 06 lipstick
I added Mynerva lashes and Dutch Touch eyeliner, which aren’t available for purchase
MEMIL eyes 06_orange brown (bought on Marketplace)
Swallow, Sunglasses
>TRUTH< Sassy w/Roots – crow
TuTy’s – black hairbase tattoo 2
mijn.botique accessories / huge chain necklace rosegol (past TDRF and not available)
mijn.botique accessories / studded earrings n.2 – rgold
[ glow ] studio – Diamond Bar ring (rose gold)
[HANDverk], Stud Clutch.kiwi (free at the Free*Style shop)
Glitterati, Shuttered pose prop
GIMPed for your pleisure.

Mama papa comin’ for you

Fashion for Life is like one of those vans that swings out of nowhere—or Red Hook—caroms down a crooked Brooklyn street, scrapes past one of the last remaining mailboxes on earth and then speeds off, a discarded 32 oz. soda cup the only sign of its passing. By which I mean, it ends on Sunday. So grab yourself a bottle of water and a bowl of fruit and jog out to buy Shena, one of Aliza Karu’s sassy donation creations for Angels and Demons.

Credits to creators
[AD] Shena mesh dress (NEW at Fashion for Life; ty Aliza!)
Blah. (My Tight Bodysuit – Grey)
:::Sn@tch, Leather Bangles (free at Shop Free*Style)
RO – FAMOUS Ring – Rainbow {store is remarkable oblivion}
[Gang/Cold) An Angel Shoes – Black/Silver
>TRUTH< Claudia Streaked – copper
Glam Affair – Luria skin – 06 (at The Arcade)
La Malvada Mujer – Cubico 3 tat (old freebie)
poses: pda, weird feelings and franklin
location: Virtual Decay
GIMPed a smidge

Brings me sugar

Lilo Glom of JesyLilo has turned her hand to clothing. The HotBow jumpsuit is adorable. Cuffed just below the knee, it’s decorated with a lavish bow. Ms. Glom’s beautifully textured ColdKnit Hoodie in a gentle shade of blue surprises with a pale pink bow at the back. Both items are available in other colours. I can see a Grease fan sporting the black version of the jumpsuit, which features a bold red bow just dying to be matched by a pair of saucy stilettos. Looking a little more staid, Anorak sports grey-velvet loafers, brand new from Riri Ninni at h.m.a.e.m. The loafers are also available in sapphire blue, deep red and black. They make me yearn for a smoking jacket and a cravat.

This lovely skin with multi-colour eyeshadow is also from Jesylilo. It’s my fave from the Cupcake series, which skews young with plenty of pink cheeks. If Anorak is looking a little uptight here, it’s because I made her wait in the lobby while I bought a pair of slutty new sandals from Celoe. I was prepared to pay 850, figured they would be 895, and quietly ponied up 950 big Ls before Anorak could realize I was spending her inheritance.

Credits to creators
from *JeSyLiLO* (ty Lilo Glom!)
:::ColdKnit Hoodie:::*Blue M
:::HoTBow Jumpsuit:::*Blue S
:::CupCake:::*LightSkin*J3*BT
AUDRAN, Unisex Tattoo / DARK INK / ‘Awkward’ (at fi*friday)
h.m.a.e.m. – lounge loafers – chamber (NEW; ty Riri Ninni!)
Truth, Demi Chocoberry
Swallow, Lion Earrings
K*S, ONE-PIECE91socks (store is closed)
poses built into furnishings
locations: library, Celoe

GIMPed for your safety.

Tatas tutorial

Like me, you probably love your new Tangos falsies from Lola’s. The bustline is too too divine. But the breasts are so large that the average av’s proportions are thrown way out of whack. As an experienced blogger, I am qualified to guide you through the steps to getting those proportions back into whack. If you follow this tutorial, you won’t waste your time making your av’s shoulders wider, adding body fat or enlarging the hips and thighs. The simplest strategy is to plop on some giant cartoon hair and teleport immediately to a Manhattan-style sim. New York’s skyscrapers dwarf even the giantest bazooms. (This is why most movies are made in Hollywood.) Once you have her installed in NYC, clothe your av in something tight and short, and then slip on a pair of sturdy not-human legs. Your av is now a superheroine and her breasts are a metaphor for her power. (You may actually have to enlarge your Lola’s to convince people of your av’s superness. Check recent Wonder Woman covers for ideas.)

Now that your av is a superheroine, you can buy that utility belt you’ve always wanted. The idea is to balance out your av’s front-mounted falsies with something just as big for her backside. A couple of mangey kitten criminals in a fanny pack will improve the proportions and demonstrate that your superheroine is indeed cleaning up Gotham. If anyone asks about the bottle of milk she’s using for evil-feline-bait, just tell him that your av was bitten by a radioactive dairy cow. He’ll imagine the consequences. In vivid detail.

Credits to creators
Lolas ::: Tango ::: Mesh Breasts (spine) (NEW)
[Cynful] Vale’s Turtleneck Dress – (Turtleneck Mesh Size 1) (at TDR)
-Belleza- Wynter skin (past 50L Friday)
Clemmm – ReSnick eyes .black sclera.
>TRUTH< Kirby – auburn
d-lab–black cat belt
Pixels, ChimeraBoots_Beta (old gg)
INDI – Armcuff (old hunt gift)
.:Hermony:. / LeatherGloves / Black (old gift)
R.icielli – SKULL EARRING /GRAFF
!bang, Back Up pose pack
sim: outside TSG
these pics were lightly GIMPed and then PIXLRed

Haunted hollow

She’s not dead. She’s just post-processed that way. Nomine’s 100L sale ends today, but the Cross Halter Dress is eternal. Munchflower Zaius lavished such care on the individualized fabrics of sixteen gorgeous variations on this gown that it was extremely difficult to choose just one to show you. While many are full-on goth, there are a number of variations that would work for 1930s role-play or an evening at The Gardens of Apollo. The dress is mesh and comes in only two sizes, so be sure to try the demo if you are used to XXS-XL sizing. Portia fit the Standard version just fine, but it was more fun to blow her up to fill out the Curvy version.

Credits to creators
Nomine, Mesh Cross Halter Dress Curvy – cherry
Glam Affair – Halloween skin GIFT
:[P]:-Soul Ink-Lothlorien
::DT:: ::JoLiE:: V2 Beautymarks Moles and Freckles
- .HoD. – Compassion Piercing Set Prt. 1 – Silver Lining
[plastik]-DrownTattoo-Upper
>TRUTH< Zaria – ivory
House of Fox, Feather Tippet (recent subo gift)
Bliensen + MaiTai – Samedi – Earring – Red Glass -
Fleshtone :: Narsha Vanity Cuff [Onyx/Gold]
:: PM :: Demonia Claws (VIP gift, small fee to join)
pose: PDA
location: Wretched Hollow

Ho for Halloween

This is the time of year to stock up on Ho Wear. Every day of the work week, HeidiHo Huet releases a new outfit and charges only 25L during the first 24 hours. After that, prices go up to around 800L. In the days leading up to last Halloween, I snatched up plenty of elaborate and sinister costumes with names like Bride of Lost Souls. I did pass on the Mummy costume, which was just, um, mummy wrap, and not in a sexy, off-the-shoulder sort of way.

Some of last year’s gems are available in Ho Wear’s discount section, which is directly opposite the main showroom. These will run you between 100 and 200L. That means you can put that new Truth hair to fantasy work and become a member of the Blackfoot Tribe. Since this is fantasy, there’s no need to take off your SLink shoes, which don’t go with anything in your wardrobe and thus must be worn with everything.

Badlands Elf is one of a number of battle elf looks in the discount room. I don’t know what a battle elf is, but I’m pretty sure she wears long braids, like Valkyries (and like fashionistas). Ears, eyes, tattooed skin, and body-spikes are included in this ensemble.

Although I never wore the whole outfit, I used to love prancing around the adult sims in the arm-spikes. For some reason, my then-squeeze didn’t want to have SLex with me when I was all pointy. Maybe I should have tried a headless AO instead.

Credits to creators
Look one
outfit: Ho Wear, Blackfoot Tribe (in the Discount room)
skin: &bean, Babushka Tribal Black Friday (no longer available)
lashes: Cheap Makeup: Babysitters Club Lashes (subo gift)
hair: Truth, Aiyana (Plain) from the Dark Browns
shoes: SLink, Cassandra Heels Mushroom
eyes: amato, Mist 01 (old freebie)

Look two
outfit: Ho Wear, Badlands Elf (in the Discount room)
hair: Truth, Aiyana (Plain) from the Dark Browns

poses: Izumiya, from the freebie packs
studio: Gauged, Photo Studio 1

Don’t hunt alone

You can shop, and you can blog, but that doesn’t mean you can hunt. Portia was so looking forward to accessorizing some adorable FTLO…Science Hunt frock with her first Truth hair, her first Maitreya Gold shoes, and her first (official) Tres Blah skin. And what did she snag on her hunting trip? Sweet dick all, as my mother used to say. So, today Portia bears (or bares) the humiliation of wearing only the keychain sent to her by Cool Beans. In her defense, I would like to point out that the little blue hunt robot is so small that Portia’s favourite vibrator is three times the size, a lot more fun, and rechargeable to boot.

There are a couple of lessons to be learned from Portia’s failings. First, make sure you put your keys on your fancy FTLO keychain before you impulsively storm mostly naked out of your new Abode home. Second, don’t hunt alone. Apart from offering you assistance, other hunters whom you meet inworld or chat with through the hunters’ group will become an insta-posse armed with hysteria-fueled humour. I haven’t met a best friend or the man of my dreams on hunts, but I have flirted with some fabulously dressed women and punned my mouth off with all and sundry. And I once had an extraordinary experience with a hunter who was following her nose around the sim while I worked out the elaborate riddle-clues she was finding. Combining strategies made it possible for us to find all the gifts, which quickly dispersed our thoughts of taking epic revenge on the devilish creator.

For more info about the FTLO hunt, visit http://www.wix.com/ForTheLoveOf/FTLO.

Credits to creators
thingummy: Cool Beans, FTLO Science-Keychain
hair: Truth, Gloria Treacle
skin: Tres Blah, Pale Jejune Prissy
shoes: Maitreya Gold, Allure Tights Black
pose with goofy face: Croire, Panties Pose (Starlust Panty Raid dollarbie)
dress: Boom, Carbon Ion
home: Abode, Pastel Row House (former hunt gift)