Dear Mr. Jharls, I’m so embarrassed. Both times you sent me an invite to join the House of Fox bloggers’ group I screwed it up. The first time I had just logged in and was floundering in a pile of skanky-looking amazons, so I wrongly assumed that one of them was trying to “friend” me and declined immediately. The big women freak me out. I don’t know why. They intimidate me when they loom over me. Their ballooning fake boobs cast shadows—and dripping beads of sweat—on my own breasts. Which are a nice size, to be sure, and still all-natural, unlike their pixel-swollen pairs. The second time you sent an invite I was in too many groups. The Phoenix viewer keeps needling me about my group greed: “You belong to 42 groups of 40 maximum,” it states mockingly, its beak twisted in a Malvada Mujer tattooed sneer, its Solidea Follies fascinator glinting in the sun.
I don’t want you or Mr. Landar to think I dislike House of Fox. I was just there the other day, in fact, and snapped up this cream jacket so that I can look fierce and stand up to the big girls. I resisted the urge to play with my boobs—with the size, I mean—even though I can vividly recall the look of those statuesque blondes as they loomed over me in their orange string bikinis and red oops lingerie. The thing is, I’m pretty sure that designers would be annoyed if I made my lovely lady humps bigger than their sleeves. That would just be one-upmanship. (One-upwomanship?) On the other hand, I have to admit that my new HoF jacket was making me feel a little more inadequate than usual. So I, erm, put some more juice in my caboose, if you know what I mean. Now I have to write and apologize to Azure Electricteeth for stretching out her leggings. How tall is she, btw?
Credits to creators
jacket: House of Fox, Pin-UpJacket Cream
skin: Mother Goose’s, Jamil Special
lashes: kik, part of Ovis Aries hair
hair: Fab.Pony, Mei hair Anis
leggings: tee*fy, Floral Oriental Red (Tea Hunt item)
shoes: fri.day, Dream Booties Cream