Back to black nature

I confess that I wasn’t seeing anything that made my wallet beat faster when I first visited Back to Black before it opened. And then I missed the IM about the bloggers’ platform—which had to be shut down due to illicit pervchases—because my viewer crashed before I could check my messages. (Quelle surprise, eh?) So I was excited to see u.f.o.’s adoresable outfits, which are as affordesable as they are chic. How Portia ended up wearing them in the woods is anyone’s guess.

The Back to Black event is significant for me because everyone in my immediate family suffers or suffered from depression. My mother tried to kill herself this past summer. My brother has never been able to do the writing he was born to do. And my father was a complete asshole. The thing is that I don’t find myself able to write on cue about depression on the occasion of Back to Black, although I mention it often enough in my blog. Right now I am doing better than I have been for a couple of years, but better is still a shadow version of the life I could be having. After twelve or so years on drugs, and many years of suffering before then, I am still in denial about my depression and am unwilling to acknowledge it to anyone who hasn’t known me for years. So a lot goes unexplained, and I feel like a terrible failure.

One of the things I’m happy about right now is the pride I take in my blog. I imagined that the moment I got even a little of my s^it together I would stop hiding out here. Instead, I stopped feeling as though the blog is an embarrassment. It ain’t gonna get me tenure, but it’s a wonderful creative outlet, and it has absorbed a lot of the pain that I would not have been able to face on a daily basis.

Really, the bird thing made sense at a certain point in my process. But that point seems to have occurred well past my bedtime.

Look birdish
::{u.f.o}::black lace suit (Back to Black item:
ANEXX_ClassicCreepers_BlackPython (NEW) (and AWEsome!)
-Glam Affair – Valentine skin 03 D (TDR)
.::MADesigns HAIR::. ~ DORA ~ Black VI (Womenstuff hunt gift)
– Nemesis – Secret clutch black
:::Sn@tch Rose Cameo Earrings and Necklace::: (old grab bag)
Maitreya Allure Tights – Neutral03
– Glam Affair – Stella Eyes 03
Glitterati, Formality 1 pack
Del May, Nevermore 3 (old hunt gift)

Look girlish
{u.f.o}::spread black ink (Back to Black item:
Adam n Eve Skins – Amaris Natural Valentine Group Gift (subo gift)
Cheap Makeup- Eye Gloss [TINTABLE] (NEW)
ICON, Hair Base_Jetblack
tomoto, boa (free on Marketplace)
Anya Ohmai, !O Emerge Tights (not available)
.:A&M:. My Yummy Necklace – Black Pearls
haut.monde -Hondo Pumps – Tan/Cream (I think these were a special colour combo)
LaGyo_Florie chien ring
Anais Gaea, black diamond earrings and nose stud (old newbie freebie)
– Glam Affair – Stella Eyes n4
Glitterati, Formality 1

location Drowsy, GIMPage desultory


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