I think a dusky-hued prairie skirt paired with a sleeveless, collarless t-shirt in an undistinguished shade of grey is sexy. I am given to understand that most people do not share my opinion. Am I weird? My therapist thinks so. Last month, she observed that although I am attractive, I don’t dress to attract attention, and this may be one of the reasons I can’t meet men. It’s true that I don’t dress to attract attention. But I didn’t realize subtlety was a handicap in the romance department. Was my therapist telling me that if I started to wear high heels on a daily basis I would have better chances with men? Could it be that simple? Picture me discovering at age 45 that my life could have been a sex romp if I’d worn perfume. (Never mind that perfume gives me headaches.) Picture me bawling. Between sobs, I objected strongly to my therapist’s picture of the world. She wasn’t allowing for the possibility that atypical modes of dress solicit attention from men who are smart (or weird) enough to appreciate alternatives. I can’t afford Margiela or Marni, so I buy clothes that allude to references to citations of avant-garde design. (Fashion does trickle down.) Not being able to wear Bjork’s swan dress means I have to opt for something a little less obviously conceptual. That’s perfect for me because I actually prefer subtle conceits. A hidden pocket in an unusual place is more appealing to me than a shoe in the shape of a hat.
Oftentimes, I choose things that appeal to my sense of irony, not to what I imagine is a male’s sense of sex appeal. Years ago, I bought a low-cut sundress from J. Crew because the pin-striped men’s shirt fabric wittily contradicted the ur-feminine neckline. (It didn’t hurt that it did my boobs good, but that alone wouldn’t have sold me on the dress.) This dress made a date drool, but he had a head-start on drool because he’d found me attractive before he saw me in the dress. When my date complimented my dress, I pointed out the conceit behind it. I admit that my date was not further inflamed by the gender-clash staged on my body. But the important thing is that I found him more attractive because he accepted the idea that clothing could be ironic and he respected my pleasure in it. I want to believe that when I forego black heels in favor of brogues in pale lilac suede, I am attracting attention not from men generally, but from the right kind of men. The ones who will get me. (Because only the ones who get me will, y’know, get me.) What do you think? Should I cast a wider net?
Credits to creators
NYU – Cross Strap Skirt, Grey (Size 2) (comes with a t-shirt; at The Boutique)
R3volt – Jade Cuffs [V3] (NEW; colour change)
AC’s, Leather Cuffs biceps (complete cuffs and collar, set free on Marketplace)
REDGRAVE, Helena shoes – 12colors (NEW)
Exile::Fire To The Rain Natural Fusion 2 [oy, so many choices…] (at Fameshed)
Essences – Thursday *light rose* blonde (former TDRF item) with lipstick by The Skinnery (from Skin Fair)
pose: Del May, Grecian girl
pose: Captivity Co, Breaking Out
GIMP had his work cut out for him