Grief and sorceress

octeve

You know you’ve gone too far with the restricted palette and matchy-matchy aesthetic when you coordinate your av’s patterned LpD skirt with a spotted wizarding toad. (I <3 it.)

sugarsad

This was supposed to be my Día de los Muertos photo but it took a turn away from celebration of one’s ancestors to a picture of personal grief. An online relationship ended suddenly in a troublingly arbitrary way. I thought I’d miscommunicated and misinterpreted him, but I was too overwhelmed to ask for an explanation or offer one, and I ran away. I’ve never done that before. Now that the panic and denial have subsided, I am still weirdly out of touch with what’s happened in my life. Because he and I live on different sides of the Atlantic, we would meet up online in my early morning. I often leapt out of bed at 6 AM. I never knew what would come of those rendezvous, so each day started as an adventure. Sometimes we had sex, sometimes we talked—we talked so well together. Talking after sex, about the sex, was especially delicious because it convinced us we were also very good at sex. These days, I’m getting out of bed later, and I feel daunted by the dark skies. At some point in the hours after I wake, I run up against a pocket of emptiness. I get a physical feeling that something’s missing, and it takes a moment for my gut to tell my mind what it is. I’m slow to recognize that it’s gone, but I’m also not sure what is gone. Is it possible to miss not a person but an experience in time and space?

Credits to creators
*LpD* – *Duna* Skirt Romance (Mesh – Size XS-XXS) (NEW; this outfit comes with a close-fitting bibbed blouse, and it is available in three colours/patterns of skirt; ty Nevery Lorakeet!)
Color.Me.H.O.F Mesh [Boxy Crop Sweater[Oxblood]_S (was at DU IV*)
Exile::Dream of Paradise Extremes pack (NEW) (I did nothing to highlight the hair in the closeup. It’s that beautifully textured.)
+Nuuna+ Kati Skin [Fair]
[theSkinnery] Sugar Scull face tattoo 2 and 1 in the closeup (was at Cosmetic Fair*)
::Modish:: Isha lipstick SetE-18
.Birdy. {Liner} 10 and {Liner} 9 (from a VIP dollarbie pack)
*SoliDea FoliEs* chameleon – ring
R.icielli – SKULL EARRING /GRAFF (very old)
BeetleBones, Wizarding Toad Phantom Large (was at Wizarding Faire*)
pose one is by Two Cats, Magical pack
location is Havenhollow, which is gone
*I’m having a tough time keeping track of what’s limited to one event and what isn’t. I think DU IV is the only event here that stipulated exclusivity of an item.

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One thought on “Grief and sorceress

  1. My heart goes out to you. i grieve for your grief. As you said to me not terribly long ago, human relationships are fragile, and it takes courage to have them.

    It is certainly possible to miss an experience in time and space rather than a person.

    sian loves you, Portia.

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