Freeing up

Portia’s hair, suit and sandals are all from this month’s Collabor88. I’m telling you this up front because the rest of the post is about D/s, not SL. And it’s NSFW.
My life has changed radically. I suddenly found myself ready to jump into the local BDSM scene. This after a couple of years of hesitation. More than hesitation, really. I simply did not believe that I would ever have the drive or guts to do it. I was, of course, involved with someone online, and that was so satisfying that I didn’t even consider looking for RL play partners. While I am still grieving the loss of that online love, I am also attending munches, checking out dungeons and studying up on safety and phenomena like “sub frenzy.” This describes what I experienced in the first days of chatting with local doms on line. I confounded any of the articulate and insightful ones with my former partner and thus immediately experienced an overwhelming impulse to submit. This passed. I am now feeling intense frustration at not meeting anyone. Part of me has settled into a grudging state of patience. Another part of me wants to lose my corporeal D/s virginity to anyone. Being a middle-aged woman in this scene is tough, although I am not unique. One dom’s profile stated his sub could be no older than “pre-menopausal,” because after that “gals” are looking for soul mates. The hidden message is familiar: our culture cannot see older women as sexual or sexy. This is a shame when you consider that no longer worrying about pregnancy is liberating for women. When this dom messaged me, I replied that we weren’t a good fit because I could fall into peri-menopause at any moment. I added an exclamation mark. In response to a message from a younger man, I asked how he felt about playing with an older woman. Instead of saying “That’s a fantasy of mine,” he wrote “I guess that would be okay if she didn’t act older.” Idk what he meant by “act older,” but it made me feel like somebody’s boss, if not his. I know the audience for Pleisure is not large, so very few people will miss me, but I am going to be blogging less over the next little while as I search for (a) partner(s). Clearly I will have to lock someone in before I hit menopause. But I also need to find a partner before winter brings freezing cold nights. Shouldn’t dungeons open at noon during the winter, when it’s a comfortable minus eight outside? (It just occurred to me that hot chocolate and hot wax might be a winning combination, so I may rethink my hibernation plan.)

Credits
r2 A/D/E madoro[S]blue (Collabor88)
.Olive. the Shiny Hair Fades (Collabor88)
.Enfant Terrible. Moondchild necklace gold (FGC)
ieQED pirate.doubloon.ring (FGC)
Pure Poison – Gold Goddess Sandals (Collabor88)
-Glam Affair – Rose – Pearl 02 B (this was a limited edition)
-Glam Affair – Gloss 04
Miss Shippe’s Studio, O Rama Gold Feather Lashes Upper and Lower V2 (gacha)
{S0NG} :: Chibi~ Abyss Eye
pose prop: Exposeur, Paper Moon
pose, pic 2: Kirin, Lost in Space
location, pic 2 A&Y Bunker CyberCity