I found someone to scene with (as the kinky say), and it went wrong, albeit not horribly or irreparably. You will find my story under the cut. If you don’t click onward, do take a moment to note that the Femdom V hunt is running a little while longer. I am still ambivalent about SLatex, but I was pleased to see how
cute infernal Anorak looks in this coral-red number from Say Nothing.
So it turns out, as I knew it would, that I don’t like being struck with a cane, a crop or a single-tail whip. Worse, I don’t like being struck by someone who knows it’s not what I want from him. Yes, I am curious about almost everything, but I had made my desires clear to my prospective partner: clamps and flogger, please and thank you, in the context of a D/s dynamic, Sir. In the ten days leading up to play-time I’d so enjoyed talking with him and squirming against him when he felt me up at kink-friendly places. He seemed like a solid guy, which he should be at the age of 60. And his references from other play partners were glowing. At the club, however, he acted like a jerk during negotiation. I had to summon up my courage in the face of his bad attitude and had to push to get him to recognize my limits. Luckily, my aversion to pain made it easy for me to use my safewords in the dungeon. During aftercare, he was the person I had known before the bad scene and, to my surprise, a very sweet cuddle-slut. Although we ended the night with a lovely naked wrestle on one of the bondage tables, I fell apart the moment I got into a cab to go home. I was in tears when I called him the next day to tell him off. He took responsibility for his actions, saying that he was wrong to think we should test my limits when I am just starting out. We remain confused about whether or not we want to try again, but we have talked a lot this week and will soon experiment by going on a vanilla date.
The most important thing I learned from this is that I have to be willing to walk away when I go out to play. I am going to hold future negotiations at a restaurant, thus avoiding the enticements of the dungeon and the assumption that it will all work itself out once we get into action. On my first play date I was far too excited to really recognize that the negotiation went badly. (I felt as though Christmas was coming early and had actually worried that my evening might be ruined by snow.) In the future, I will need to tell myself not to despair if it’s a wash—even if I have dithered all week about what to wear, even if it did take me an hour to get to the club (and I felt self-conscious about my cleavage in the glaring light of the bus), even if I am paying membership fees without getting to use the facilities, and even if I am impatient to develop a satisfying kink life before osteoporosis sets in.
Credits to creators
#Say Nothing#, Rixton_Red Bodysuit (Femdom V hunt gift)
Goth1c0, Bondage mask
+ Divinity + Horsebit Necklace (four metal options; at the Cosmopolitan Sales Room)
(r)M ~ (RLV) Posture Collar ~ No.07
Slink, Tall Leather Thigh Boots Black
[BP] The Fallen Cuffs (old gacha rare)
+Spellbound+ hair, Jezebel – Monochromes
[theSkinnery] Gemma 6 (toffee) (TAG gacha in store)
Clemmm – ReSnick eyes .black sclera.
pic one: Captivity Co. Poses- Wanna Play (includes chains)