A ring around my neck

The text and pics in this BDSM post are not safe for work. The pics may be upsetting to some people. The asphyxiation play they evoke is very dangerous. If you want to do this kind of play with your partner(s), take the time to become a part of the local kink community, and find a mentor who is recognized widely as safe and experienced. Bottoms /subs/slaves, you can read more about keeping yourself safer— not one hundred per cent safe—in the post.  coldcomfortI have a tough time taking sexy BDSM shots in Second Life. Sometimes I think it’s because my av always poses alone. No one is exerting power over her. Nowadays it’s because I don’t own one of those heads with dozens of expressions. Believe me I’d like to play around with one, but the market has flooded beyond my ability to swim. More importantly, I LOVE Portia’s and Anorak’s faces. They are unique and they have been with me for years. Today I decided to treat myself to a new Glam Affair skin in the Tropic tone, one I’ve never tried, and to see if LeLutka’s golden oldie Stella could express a little bit of the bottom’s bliss.
closetothemiddleoftheroadI feel ambivalent about these pictures. I find the idea (and depictions of) choking and breathplay intensely arousing, but I’ve never met anyone I would trust to do this. Even neck rope is something I avoid. This is partly because a leash and collar awakens my submissive self; and I’ve only met one person, a fellow sub, who knew how to treat this part of me with care. Jay Wiseman did extensive research into breath control play, which he declares categorically unsafe. Lately, I’ve encountered rope teachers who say that neck rope is safe if it’s tied right under the chin or at the base of the neck, and if you are using it as a collar and leash, not as a choking mechanism. They are not necessarily right about this. Many rope partners incorporate neck rope into their play. That doesn’t mean it’s safe.
darkofnightYou and your partners, and your partners’ partners, should read as much as possible when you start to play and as your play changes. Both top and bottom have to know and discuss the safety risks. Both should figure out what their “risk profile” is. Know where you draw the line. I will no longer do a full suspension with someone I do not know, not even in a workshop context. Last time I was up during a class, the guy let a rope slip and laughed when my head almost hit the ground. Nor will I do a partial suspension with wraps around my upper arms: this is because of the risk of nerve impingement/damage. There are wrap-free harnesses. Do not let a top tell you otherwise. If your top doesn’t know a wrap-free harness, look for a community member who does. Never think that you need to be able to take the risks that the cool or tough bottoms are taking. (Sometimes I believe that I could get more play if I were a heavy-duty masochist. That’s not who I am, so I wait.) If you are a bottom/sub/slave, do not give into pressure from any top/dom/master who wants you to do something that is not physically or psychologically safe for you. Do not let anyone tell you that you are not a “real” submissive/slave because you assert your right to decide what is an acceptable risk for you. Your body is always your body—yours to care for as well as enjoy—even when you are handing that body over to someone else. Please do not assume that what I have said here is enough to keep you safe and sane. Do the research, consult experienced players, take classes! If you are new and still don’t have a partner take classes anyway. The more I’ve learned over the last two years bottoming for rope, the better I’ve become at asserting my limits and asking for what I want. Rope bottoms rejoice: Clover has just published the fourth edition of her Rope Bottom Guide.

Credits
RO – Choker (Front and Back versions) – Group Gift
S&P, Ivy harness Lara (from the last Romp)
tram, F1124 hair HUD2
{anc} Parasite Nose-cuff. [copper]
-Glam Affair – Kaia – Exotic – (Lelutka applier)
.LeLutka.Mesh Head-STELLA v1.6
Nox, Overflow tattoo
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5
OOO Studio, Waiting pose pack
shot at Ethereal City

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