Misunderstood

Again, I’ve held off on posting pix because I was trying to write about a recent scene. Each time I went back to the writing, I sucked a little more life out of it. Five minutes ago, while I was on my way home from buying groceries, I realized that I have something else to offer my readers, something more than news of a clearance sale. Not long ago, I was lucky enough to participate in an excellent GRUE (Graydancer’s Ropetastic Unconference Extravaganza, obvs). In an unconference, the participants create the classes. One session was a discussion about pain and humiliation. I love humiliation. I dislike pain. As in, pain is painful; but also as in, pain doesn’t do anything for me. I thought that taking the class might help me find a humiliating side of pain. But the the discussion leader is like me. She explained that being slapped fast and hard in the face just hurts physically. It doesn’t humiliate her. Being slapped less roughly, as if she were being rebuked for bad behavior, makes her cheeks burn with shame. That burn, by the way, comes from the inside, in the same way a blush does, not from the sting of the slap. I chimed in early in the conversation, saying that what I like is discomfort rather than pain. (Discomfort is not the right word, because it’s not strong enough, but I couldn’t think of another term.) The discussion leader nodded and then asked me how I feel when someone deals out pain, and I replied, without thinking about it, “misunderstood.” This is not “misunderstood” as in being mistaken for a snob instead of recognized as reserved. This is “misunderstood” as in experiencing a sadness that must date back to childhood because it is the sadness of a very small person. And it goes unrecognized when someone smacks me for the sake of the smack.
The pictures in today’s post took mere minutes to shoot. On both occasions, I was just goofing around with my av, who is dressed for an ordinary day as a ghoul on the grid in the image above. In the first picture, she is only half styled. Practically naked without her tattoo and cuffs and gun or cuddlebunny. And her hair, sorry to say, is now gone forever, because creator Kavar Cleanslate is bringing new textures to the Exile line. Re:Japonica and the March Collabor88 are over, so you will have to stalk the Air and R2 A/D/E shops until their goodies arrive on the shelves.

Pic 1
R2 A/D/E, Shun dress and bodysuit
Lelutka, Simone Head (Bento)
Glam Affair, Adley applier (50L Friday version)
Exile, Liaison Wildcards
Eclectic Randomness, Mesh Doll Cabinet pose prop
Pic 2
Air, Toriko pose prop
Pixicat, Ambrosia dress mini version
Red Mint, hair no 39 Fantasy o.7-9
1mm, tabi and geta (past gift)

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