Bottomed out?

About 5 weeks ago I found out I have two spinal bones rubbing against each other (a little) and vasculitis in one leg. I am afraid of bottoming in rope. I don’t want to hurt other parts of my spine. I don’t want my other leg to go. I don’t know how to give up bottoming. (Although it is the case that the woman I was tying with turned out to be mean, and she’s leaving town anyway. So there’s no one to bottom for.) I don’t want to give up futo momos. Just sitting on the floor fucks with my circulation. (I bought compression thigh highs, which might help and might pass for sexy.) I wanted to do a suspension, finally, and there’s now no chance of that, or, I imagine, any remotely strenuous positions. (There’s a cartoon vagina on the other side of this wall. And some despair. It may not be worth clicking. On the other hand: woman masturbating. You may have noticed that the av in the first picture is not thinking about back problems.) Continue reading

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Babes (with a bit of bondage)

I met the owner of Floating World while I was shooting some new Tentacio and Fallen Gods gacha goodies. We talked about rope. :)
I didn’t get a good shot of Tentacio’s Dirty Okobos, which come with skeleton feet, so I had to get this shot right. It took me forever. The longer I beheld Anorak bound and bent over the more I realized what a horrific punishment pose this would be.

Credits
Photo 1
Tentacio, Tomoto kimono skirt dark (Arcade gacha) Fallen Gods, Venus Anatomica Black (Twisted Hunt prize: one of many colors hidden separately)
{Ama. : Blood Splatter includes Omega applier and Full Body Tattoo for classic avs, in light and heavy splatter
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1
*DG*64 HAIR – MIX COLOR
Kibitz – Dali’s leather hand cuffs red (past gacha)
Kibitz – Leather collar sensei
[BP] War Fans v03 common (past gacha)
NOX. Giftmas – Day 23 [Indo Septum – Black] n/a
{S0NG} :: Aimi~ Aqua Eye
-Glam Affair – Caroline Skin – New Day – Artic A (n/a)

Photo 2 and 3
Tentacio, Let me Breathe Oxygen mask RARE (at Gacha Garden)
Tentacio, Let me Breathe white Harness (includes top and botom) (at Gacha Garden)
Tentacio, Tomoto kimono skirt candy (Arcade gacha)
Tentacio, Tomoto okobos candy (Arcade gacha)
*DG*64 (Dark Red)
ALTAIR* spike cuffs .pink. (past gacha)
*The Cove* Ever and Never Rings (ummmm…)
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1
{S0NG} :: Anim~ Aqua Eye
-Glam Affair – Sasha skin – India 01 NB (past gacha)
Izzie’s – Nose Bleed 1 (classic avatar)
[:T:] Runny 1 n/a
pose in photo 2 is from the prop Libertine, Justine Mature Edition [2.0]
shot at Fallen Gods
photo 3 pose by Slouch

Abuse of power comes as a terrible surprise

For the fourth week in a row, a prominent member of the rope community has been outed for repeat consent incidents. In one case these were sexual violations in private. In another, negligence in private. In a third, abuse of a partner in private. In a fourth—well we’ll see why the fuck he was doing what he was doing in classes. (And yes, these are all men.) Three of the four are—or rather were, in the first case—teachers with whom I have taken classes. You know I love my rope classes. I’ve been to six rope cons, two of Graydancer’s GRUEs, and countless local classes and intensives. Right now I feel sick, not just because of the revelations about power abuse by rope tops, but because I had my own experience of a nonconsensual incident with a teacher. I thought I put the bad feelings behind me. These included feeling embarrassed for not stopping it, which was made worse because my community may have seen me not stop it. I also lost my respect for him as a teacher, lost the respect he gives me as a [decent and somewhat fun] student, and the identification I feel with him as someone whose philosophy I appreciate deeply. I got over the bad feelings, got back a sense of mutual respect, and came to understand what happened as a serious error in judgment on his part. Partly in response to the recent revelations, I told the teacher that he didn’t ask for permission to suddenly and aggressively take me out of the rope my partner had tied. He apologized for not asking. I told him it’s okay. But is it? The bad feelings I endured when it happened came back after I talked to him. They have receded again, but I am really fucking wary right now.
I know this teacher always asks for permission to touch a student because I hear him ask when he circulates in the class. Why was I the person who wasn’t asked for permission? Was it because he believed I wouldn’t object? One of the things we bottoms struggle with is being dubbed “unsafe” when we don’t communicate about things going wrong. (Apparently now we need to be prepared to safeword in class as well as scene.) One of the things I struggle with as a new top is the fear that I am going to fuck things up. I have been talking a lot with my regular bottom to ensure that our negotiations are more thorough. In addition, I have asked him to tell me if he feels retroactively creeped out by something that he was okay with during the scene. (I was okay when the teacher took me out of the rope. It was pleasantly physically and psychologically challenging and a little hot. The next day I wasn’t okay.) I also told my regular top that it is possible that I too may experience delayed effects, or effects that come and go, and she needs to be prepared for that. One of the things I’m cherishing right now is the trust I have with both of them.

If you are a member, you can find good FetLife writings on and for bottom safety in all senses at Rope Bottoming Resources. If you need a model for dealing with a consent incident or need to prep yourself and other community members in case one occurs, check out Consent Rocks.

_CD_ Raku Boots Black – Maitreya Lara (at that Punk thing)
(first pic) Moon. Hair. // Devour (gg)
(second pic) old Ayashi gg
Gachas
Mossu – Temptress.Choker – Black – Maitreya
Tentacio—red ribbon kimono black & red (with panties)
Tentacio—Rune spell
Violent Seduction – Ume Hime Tanto (Red) (sword)

Ladylike latex




Credits
-Pixicat- Dragon.Dress Seductive nr1 (Maitreya) RARE (gacha at Epiphany)
07_{-Maru Kado-} Halo-Yubikiri Black (gacha at Kagami event)
tomoto, bell geta pink (maitreya) (gacha at Kagami event)
Zenith, Hydrangea Arborescens Purple (gacha at Crystal Heart event)
Dura, *DG*64 (Light red)
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1
[CX] Biomech Claws (Maitreya) (limited time group gift)
: Amorous : You bracelet n/a
Saga, Bohemian Flower Tattoo (gift)
[theSkinnery]Ming-Bare face(honey) NB CL2 n/a
.Birdy. Red (Scar) Porcelaine
.Pekka. HOMICIDAL Lipstick (fear)
[CX] Noh Eyeliner Style 1 (Tintable)
Rotten Toe, Goth brows 1
#adored – kit lashes
{S0NG} :: San~ Aqua Eye
pose 1 Nantra, Syzygy 4M
pose 2 X, Schoolgirl 1
shot at Filthy Sakura

A bottom’s cranky body

I love playing with Alexandra (not her real name). She’s inventive. She doesn’t follow the “traditional” Japanese patterns—the ones that tend not to be fatal. The second time we scened, she supported my head with ropes at the base of my skull. I ended up with a headache for ten days. I kept telling Alexandra (still not her real name) that we made this mistake together, and that each of us has to be responsible to the other. Meanwhile, I was being a shit because I kept putting off going to the doctor, thus shirking my responsibility to both of us to be proactive about possible serious injury. I looked in vain for a kink-friendly doctor online, and when I asked a friend who knows the scene pretty well, she assumed I needed a gyno, not a GP! I imagined telling a vanilla GP that I was doing acro-yoga, which is a thing, and that we decided to add some rope because my balance is bad. But I’m one of those “I cannot tell a lie” people and I’m also pretty blunt, so I would have ended up saying something like “I’m into rope bondage and the person tying me up may have done bad things to my head. Not on purpose.” The third time I played with Lexie—Ima call her that now—we did not injure me. The fourth time, during a sublime scene in which I was standing on one leg and had the other bent leg suspended, I sustained some kind of butt-muscle injury on the side of the suspended leg. I met a kinky yoga instructor who said it happened because my hips weren’t open. It takes 90-minutes of mostly yang yoga poses to open my hips. (And probably my legs…if you know what I mean.) That injury plagued me for more than five weeks, and I was really worried that I would go into our fifth scene too butt-borked to play much. Miraculously, my butt—which had been especially tender for days, to the point where I was worried about sciatica—woke up pain-free the day before Sexy Lexi (no one’s real name) and I were supposed to scene. I am happy to report that I emerged unscathed from that scene, having not ceased to breathe when she wrapped my chest very tightly. (UNF. Breath play yo.) I hate thinking that my body is easily injured because before doing rope I hadn’t done anything physical—not since I quit ballet at 10 and gym at 16. I also hate thinking that I am really very old and have to be extra cautious. Now that I have been feeling the effects of positions that don’t seem strenuous, I am even more scared to try suspension again. For some reason, however, Lexapalooza (that name actually suits her) and I have decided to try one. I hope she will like my helmet and football pads.
Tram at Hair Fair. Weird angle on Hedda’s weird face. Nuff said.

Credits
tram, G0517 hair (HUD 3) NEW
.Birdy. May Skin ~Peaches~ (Brown)
S&P lingerie and collar Iris – Lara MMM edition (may not still be available in this colour combo, but group members could buy it last weekend when Midnight Madness was on)
#EMPIRE – Ipomoea – Maitreya
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1
AC’s Leather Cuff (free on Marketplace in a very nice, but sadly brown, set)
[Dread] Piercing #5
{S0NG} :: Cupid~ Dark Green Eye
pose not available
shot at Opium Den

Kink on a dime

Reader, I suffered for you this week. I decided to see if it was possible to SLook kinky for SLess. It is. I offer some tips. Portia jumps on every bondage device she sees, and lately she’s been touring BDSM sims because she thinks it might be time to find me a cyber dom. My inventory is bursting with free cuffs. I also have lots of free collars, some of which you can pick up at places like Submission Set Free. It is the case that these items are not top quality goods you want to show off in your fashion-forward photos. I was disappointed when I went through the collars I’ve collected, which are scripted so submissives can do all their grovelly poses, but which tend also to be blingy and poorly textured. I got my favorite free cuffs—a little Gorean in metal, but elegantly delicate and black—from the Grid Couch at Aisling (see pic 3). If you’ve got a little bit of money, there are plenty of gacha cuffs and collars for sale on Marketplace, and they come in a variety of colours rather than just basic black.
The nipple clamps come from CC’s Spread Em prop. These are nicely scaled, if a little large. (If you were standing in RL, these clamps would drag you down with your nipples.) There’s nothing worse than buying an item that is scaled for a yeti rather than a female avatar. Giant clothespins are neither sexy nor true to life. I need some realism in my fantasies. D’eVil offers an array of free bondage and fetish items, which are perfect for people who are just starting out, or who have spent so much on a new outfit at Romp or Kinky Monthly that they can’t afford accessories. Look on Marketplace and inworld for D’eVil items. (I have a Smell Shoe Gag and a Bamboo Gag from D’eVil, which are all “Muahaha you won’t get free of this until you change all your settings.” But I didn’t find them during this week’s search.) The free D’eVil ballet boots (not shown) are disappointing, but this has always been a problem. Now that Slink has created the pointe foot, however, some creators are making good-looking ballet-torture-type footwear. I love N Core’s sleek version, even though it’s more about the leg warmers than the shoe. Oh yeah—N Core is in the middle of sale! Meanwhile, if your tastes run to avant-garde, you’ll find a small assortment of inventively diabolical toe shoes at Azoury. But not for free.
I feel ambivalent about the word WHORE scrawled on Portia’s face, courtesy S.M.H. I hate the way the patriarchy denigrates women as whores and sluts. But I also know that I have enjoyed being called a whore when a roleplay heats up. It’s always been about being my partner’s whore: I’m monogamously slutty. In RL, I am an exhibitionist at heart, so I know I would enjoy being displayed in the dungeon in a degraded state, possibly sweaty and covered in mud and labeled “filthy.” I enjoy it when someone objectifies me sexually, telling me, for instance, that I feel vulnerable because people are looking at my ass. Part of the fun is the difference in the way my pussy and brain react: the pussy throbs but the brain says “People are not staring at my ass. My ass is covered by boy shorts, and I’m almost certain that I have been on my back during the entire scene. And anyway, no one wants to look at my ass. It’s too flat. And everyone in the dungeon has a better ass. Even the guy I’m playing with has an ass cuter than mine. Etc.” While my brain huffs and hotly denies that I have been exhibiting my butt to an appreciative audience, my soul takes its cue from my happy, wet vag. If my brain is a mess of hamsters on wheels, my soul is a pretty butterfly flitting around my top, showing him how much I enjoy his carefully chosen insults.

Free
Ama. : Pride Collar 2017 (gg)
{S.M.H} Dirty Mouth (This is tintable and includes an Omega applier and a classic tat layer.)
[D’eVil] Chastity Belt Thin (This is Maitreya only. It’s scripted: one option lets you turn off the chastity shields and wear it as a chain belt with a cute lock. There’s also a thick belt but I couldn’t edit it to fit my av.)
[D’eVil] Lia Gloves (Maitreya only, tintable) (I’m going back for the latex boots and will try out a latex dress. I hate spending big bucks for a fabric that’s tough to simulate for SL.)
~*By Snow*~ Maitreya – BDSM Emblem Nails (These are not shown. They feature a triskelion symbol in monochrome variations)
[ME] Owned tattoo (This is the best-lettered version of the word: no one wants to be owned in Comic Sans.)

From props
. a i s l i n g . WristCuff from Grid Couch (There are also ankle cuffs.)
NippleClamp&&CC’s from CC’s Spread Em II, version 1.008 (This prop also has clit clamps, an asshook and cuffs for a myraid of attachment points.)

Cheap
:::{KOXAHA}::: BDSM tattoo Submissive (This is 25L on Marketplace and has Belleza, Maitreya, Omega appliers.)

On sale
N-core AISHA *OVER KNEE BOOTS* “Pink” for Maitreya Lara (This pack gives you three variations: shoe, under-the-knee boot and over-the-knee.)

Neither free nor cheap
ICONIC:HF:MAE:TOTAL STYLER:RIGGED in Tonal pack (at Hair Fair) (This can’t be resized and it gaps in back. An alpha doesn’t help. There’s no hairbases in the pack or on Marketplace. These would be appreciated. I’ll try the inworld store.)
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1 (I’m sticking with my avs real heads instead of going mesh, but I haven’t taken Lara off since I got her.)

Old
-Glam Affair – Elvi – America – 03 B (I think this is a gacha that you might find in store)

Also of note
pic two was shot at Opium Den, which is beautiful and stocked to bursting with props. The pose is from An Lar, Walled

Portrait of a glam opium eater

I’m perimenopausal. (Hmm. As openings go, that one might be less than compelling, unless you’ve never heard the word perimenopausal, which I hadn’t until a friend used it a few years ago. Technically, one is periM until menopause, which is not a phase but the moment at which one has not had a period for 12 months. It takes a long time to say periM, so I just say I’m going through “the change.”) One apparent perk of “the change” arrived two years ago: I stopped craving cola, which I’d drunk in excess since I was 20, my skin cleared up after 35+ years of spots, and PMS disappeared. Gee, I thought, free at frickin’ last. Who knew what joys would come when my body started giving up on me as a sexual being? And how ironic that it started when I decided to be a sexual being again (in the rope realm). The acne, the PMS and a teensy bit of the cola craving are back. I spent the last six weeks poking at zits again. And I am now so depressed that I spent the last two days lying on the couch doing nothing except taking pics in SL. So here you go, this is how I’ve been keeping myself occupied while I wait for a period that’s late for no sexual reason.
Apparently all the hair in the [e] store is going to be retired soon, so go now. And yeah, I know this outfit is combining Chinese and Japanese elements. Throw an abacus at me.

Credits
[CX] Fengyue – Red//Type.2 ( Maitreya ) (@ Uber, I think) NEW
*:..Silvery K..:*Japanese pipe(Lotus Gold)C be careful when you buy: two of the four pipes on display are transfer only! (@ We <3 role play) NEW
*{( konpeitou )}* sweetie – 7 – clogs (@ Lootbox gacha, bought on Marketplace) NEW
[e] Betty (Essentials pack)
.LeLutka.Head.Simone 2.7
Glam Affair, Kinga applier
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1
alme Modern gift pink manicure (Tres Chic birthday gift)
[Glitzz] Zania Earring (Tres Chic birthday gift)
[CX] Pierced Septum (Gold) (idk where this came from, an old gift, maybe SLB13)
MiWardrobe, Japanese coin – bracelet (OMG, so old! I loved MiWardrobe)
idk where I got the tat
Xplicit, Pet’s Cage
location: Opium Den (adult)

Sheen reds

Filthy Sakura, a sim I’d never visited before, is shaping up to be another high-class retreat for libertines. (With some leftovers from another incarnation, I think. I don’t usually associate Roy Batty with a monotone palette.) The filthiest picture I ever shot is posted on the Pleisure Flickr for those brave enough to allow restricted photos into their lives. It could have been worse: I had to derender the enema equipment because it was ruining the composition.

Credits
r2 A/D/E kurara boots[red]Maitreya (at Collabor88)
r2 A/D/E kurara suit[red]Maitreya (at Collabor88)
Addams, Bad Bunny Mask #053 (past gacha)
*PROMAGIC* Kinky -Cuffs-Gold (past gacha)
booN, cornrows hairbase blonde
booN, MMK375 hair blonde (n/a)
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1
This is Wrong, Mexican tattoo (free)
-Glam Affair – December skin – AFRICA 02 NB (past gacha)
pose in pic 1 by Marukin
shot at Filthy Sakura

The bride wore hemp

We were negotiating under the hard point when she said “I’m drawn to your emotions.” Our scene was not extraordinary and yet it was emotionally intense for me. She tied me as I stood on one foot, breaking the rules I know so well from Japanese kinbaku. She has a knack for making me think “oooh noooo, I didn’t realize she could tie those body parts together.” I felt the delicious unhappiness of being tied, and let myself stay with that feeling far longer than I ever have. I admit I hid my face so that she wouldn’t see me scowling and worry she was going too far. When I mentioned this later, she said “I like your scowly face.” She gave me a gift. It was only the third time we’d tied, so this was a surprise. It was a long lovely scarf, which she said reminded her of me. She used it as a gag, imagining that I would feel shame when I ruined it with my spit. (I didn’t ruin it. I’m not spitty enough. It was so thoughtful of her to play with my love of shame.) At the end of the scene, I collapsed to my hands and knees. I didn’t feel as though I was flying. I’ve had that experience before. I felt as though I was kneeling in front of a big fan, or rather, that the world was a steady stream of delicious air rushing at me, waving through me, not around me. I hoped that she would leave me on my hands and knees, and untie me that way. She did. She managed to stay behind me, leaving me to show off my ecstasy to the busy dungeon. As soon as I was free, I dove into her lap and wrapped my arms all the way around her waist. The voice that told me I shouldn’t be so needy could not break my bliss or my grip. She said “It’s so endearing that you’ve turned into a puddle.” We both feel lucky that we met.
I won the rare Bound Bride gacha from S&P. The HUD offers a range of natural shades of rope and a variety of colours for the gown, in transparent and opaque fabrics. Winning this gave me another reason to feel lucky. Only less earthshakingly so.

Credits
S&P bound bride – Bride – Lara – RARE (Arcade gacha)
S&P bound bride – sandals low – Lara black (Arcade gacha)
Doe: Faye – Gingers (Arcade gacha)
M. Crimson, Old Roses Tattoo (1L on Marketplace; Maitreya, Belleza, Omega and Default body)
Vanilla, 2nd ed. and Fallen Gods Inc., Afterplay Marks
[[RH]] Old Rose Bouquet -Blue (includes pose)
. a i s l i n g . WristCuff (came with a piece of furniture)
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1
-Glam Affair – Sasha skin – India 01 C
{S0NG} :: Cupid~ Blue Eye
[Kres] Kinky Neon – Common 9 (past gacha available on Marketplace)
pic 1 shot at Sex Doll Dungeon