Zibska at 10

zib-at-10 I’m certain it didn’t take 10 years for Zib Scaggs to become the irresistibly talented and original creator and photographer we know today. It won’t take you more than 10 minutes to snag the 10 rez-day gifts she’s set out at Zibska. Just mouse over the mini-flocks of birds that dot the shop. Some of them will sing, so to speak. But only until the 26th.

See the colour version of this photo on the Pleisure Flickr

Credits
Zibska gifts, all colour change:
Frodi eyeshadow (for mesh heads and classic avatars)
Verend hat
Arin gloves
(epia) – Kink Collar (black)
.Shi Hair : Blown {Set 1 . BBlack}
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5
[ MUDSKIN ]_Jang_Makeup1_Sunny
*Milk* Odd Beauty Freckles.
{S0NG} :: Cupid~ Blue Eye
la petite morte, Editorial pose pack (kinda olde)

Express yourself

scarlettebutt After the wretched experience with the asshole rigger—who still hasn’t apologized for actively neglecting to affirm my performance when I bottomed for his class—I was feeling miserable. This is a wound that has been opening up every other day, surprising and devastating me every time. I can’t seem to inure myself against it. I haven’t confronted the asshole because he asked for time and space. Both have been expanding at a rate that Dr. Who would find alarming. I haven’t confronted him because I know that he will never play with me again if I require him to deal with his incapacity for generosity. I’m a desperate idiot, trying to keep that possibility of play open because I believe that no one else could want me. Meanwhile, it’s his behaviour that has left me feeling that way, like a lousy bottom who doesn’t deserve appreciation. Over Labour Day weekend, I managed to distract myself by devoting ten hours to K. Kieslowski’s excellent Dekalog. I traveled for business soon after. In a strange town, the universe smiled on me, sending me a rigger who is capable of showing respect and appreciation. Like the asshole, this rigger is a devotee of Yukimura ryu, but he has studied more extensively in Japan. He is considered to be one of the top riggers in his community. He determined from my FetLife profile that we share a love for Yukimura ryu and that we would be at the same event—and he contacted me to ask if I’d like to tie. He contacted me! He clearly enjoyed sceneing with me, was attentive and playful during the rest of the evening, and took me out for coffee the next day. Instead of saying, as the asshole did, “all a bottom has to do is be vulnerable,” he said “the way you express yourself in rope is awesome.” scarletteeyes

Credits
NEW DE Designs – Scarlette Corset – Maitreya – Vintage 3 [with colour change laces] (at We <3 Roleplay)
NEW *LODE* Head Accessory – Grapes and Roses [merlot grape roses] (Chapter Four gacha)
NEW Asteria, Scratches [Omega] Blood and Burn versions in pics one and two respectively (was at Fetish Fair, not sure if it's still on)
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5Kin-Cricket-[Black] hair
-Glam Affair – Eles Asia 04 NB
fri. – Kendall.Platforms (Pewter) – Maitreya
S&P [Salt & Pepper] Avery cuffs
(r)M ~ Posture Collar ~ No.07 (Size M) (an oldie but a goodie, so well made)
cage: Dutchie/Rustica, La Signora Della Pazienza
shot at Ethereal City [join the group for access to group areas]

Did I just play with an asshole?

havingflownout My last post told the story of my afternoon as a demo bottom for a rope class. I ended the post on a high note, knowing that I would have to write another post to talk about the lousy aftermath. As soon as we’d finished class, I told my top how much I’d enjoyed it and how impressed I was that he was a careful teacher. He said nothing positive in return. He said nothing during aftercare. He said nothing when we parted, not even thank you. I was in a very good mood, and I told myself that I wasn’t going to let his being an ungenerous idiot ruin my experience. How did I know he was an ungenerous idiot? I knew because he had said something immediately after class, something I asked him to repeat because I couldn’t believe how rude it was. “You did everything right,” he said, “but what you did is really hard to fuck up.” While we were stretched out together for aftercare he stated “All a bottom has to do is be vulnerable.” I was aghast. He might as well have said that all a woman has to do is close her eyes and think of England. I pushed back calmly, saying that this sounded like typical top rhetoric about (inevitably male) riggers having “hard skills” and (inevitably female) rope bunnies having “soft skills.” He did not recant. Nor did he elaborate. Tops are assholes, I thought to myself as I went home. Why did I think he would be different?
garejacksboroallume I didn’t have to suffer drop the next day to find myself in a funk. When he checked in by text to ask me how I was doing, I replied: “Confused why you followed our class by insisting that bottoms do nothing other than be vulnerable. Nonplussed is the word.” He replied that he was sorry if he caused offense, but he’d stated that in response to a concern I’d shared about our experience in a private class at Shibaricon, which was the first time we tied. I thought I’d fucked up the last move in the sequence we did. He texted that when he said bottoms only have to be vulnerable he was backing up his supposedly reassuring explanation that it’s always the top’s fault if anything goes wrong. This response did not inspire me to communicate further. I went to bed feeling numb, with nothing to say, partly because my experience has been that men don’t want to talk things out. Not with women who don’t matter. How could I matter? I’m just a bottom. Continue reading

Bliss as a bottom

pale hedda This weekend I had the pleasure of demo bottoming for a shibari (kinbaku) class at the local dungeon. This is something I never thought I would be able to do, on account of my advancing age, my funny face and my generous stomach, not to mention my inexperience. (Where “experience” means two or three years participating in a committed heteronormative relationship with weekly painful, upside-down suspensions mimicking circus-style professional rope performances and/or high-end photographs of full-time bondage models.) It’s true that I wasn’t asked to bottom, but when I found out that the man I’d started playing with was going to teach a class, I volunteered by text and he responded with an (admittedly non-stoked-sounding) “okay.” In January at Shibaricon, I had stepped up as a last-minute bottom when he, a total stranger, needed a partner for a private class with a fabulous rigger. That was an extraordinary experience. I thought it was only fitting that we recreate it. We’d played a couple of times before we met for this week’s rehearsal. I had discovered that he is really mean and prefers to be brutal, and I am not someone who wants to be brutalized. (I had, it’s true, enjoyed grappling with him and trying to evade his assaults. The vicious hairpulling and unrelenting pressure-point-pushing were tough but … well, let’s just say that, if he ever asks, I will not hesitate to deny any interest in breast slapping and nipple twisting.) So I arrived at his place feeling like there wasn’t much hope that we’d be anything but teammates for a single class and thereafter wave to each other at munches. But then we rehearsed and my feelings changed.
pale dramaWe discovered that my top doesn’t have to thump me to be mean. He has the option of meanly keeping me in line, something I never thought I’d allow. The type of rope he was set to teach is derived from Yukimura Haruki’s style and philosophy. It’s designed to exercise close control over the bottom’s body, and yet because the techniques of capturing and tying the bottom use the bottom’s body “against” her, I got to be far more mobile than I could be in a typical partial suspension with impact play. An aspect of this style that I particularly enjoy—because I like to feel humiliated—is the top exposing the bottom’s body. The day we rehearsed, I was wearing a long skirt. My top reached out along my extended leg to slowly pull the skirt up till it covered only a few inches of my upper thigh. When I half-whined “My leg is cold,” he responded “Tough.” This made me giggle on the inside, so he wouldn’t hear me, because it was the perfect rebuff of a gratuitous complaint. When we taught the class a few days later, he gave me the option to demonstrate how fruitless it would be to struggle. That seemed lame, so I said “ummm” and then tried to escape completely. He brought me down easily. I yelped and groaned and knelt with my head to the mat to demonstrate my complete surrender. He rotated me 45 degrees so that the class could see the next part of the demo and then shocked the hell out of me when he smacked my foot to drive my leg back into the proper position. I deserved that, exactly that, as a correction to my behavior, and it was perfectly satisfying. He felt that way too. (There’s nudity under the cut. For realz.) Continue reading

Till you come

creepingdawn A couple I met at Shibaricon moved to my town. Suddenly I have two people, both of them tops, to tie with. I’ve played twice with the male half. He describes his topping style as murderous. That’s definitely the right word. Playing with someone rough has helped me to realize that my relationship with my first, oh-so-gentle top was quite romantic. On my way home the first night I played with the new man, I was overwhelmed with vivid sense memories of playing with my top. I remembered the pleasure I took in his company. I especially enjoyed the cute way he smiled and said “uh huh” any time I told him I was going to kill him when I got out of the rope. He was dear to me.  I wish he hadn’t changed that.
learning patience This colour-change bondage set by Phedora looks lovely. But when I first put on the straps locking the wrist cuffs to the thigh cuffs, they were nowhere near where they should be. Editing the set was a fiddly, frustrating business, and I had to default to my curvy av, rather than the skinny model I wanted to shoot, in order to expedite the process. Although someone told me that hers worked out of the box, the product includes a notecard from the creator stating that it requires editing skills. This warning should have been on the vendor. Or the product should not have been released. Or the straps should have been scrapped.

The best pic from this shoot is on the Pleisure Flickr.

Credits
PHEDORA. Isidora set Maitreya Lara v.2 (was at Romp)
(r)M Hair No.39’16 fantasy (0.7-9) HUD
#14 Blueberry – Energy – Boots – Maitreya *Sky* (gacha)
[CX] aka [CerberusXing], Melted Hearts tattoo (red ass optional) (at Uber)
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5
Glam Affair – Sia skin ( Fairy Tales ) – Jamaica 08 A
shot at Japan BDSM

Fake your own magical girl

crystalmagicgirl If you like Japanese types and characters, this is your moment to make or fake your own out of SL’s embarrassment of Japanosities. I’d love to show you tomoto’s paint-splashed kimonos from Japonica and konpeitou’s sinister gacha items from the Origami market, but thus far I’ve managed only to assemble a look from The Crystal Heart Festival. The Festival celebrates the magical girl (mahou shoujo), about whom I know nothing that Wikipedia didn’t tell me. The Festival is full of schoolgirl uniforms and variations on the same two hairdos, and yet this doesn’t diminish its charm. I was thrilled to finally find a reason to buy a hairdo from LCKY, which features three colourable parts, in a delightful signature palette devoted wholly to rose tones—not reds. Once I figured out that the SallieLanguage gacha was selling pose-packed accessories and stands, I got so giddy about joining the wand and stars club that I altered my teen av Anorak’s mouth so that she smiles…slightly. Not knowing what the fuck I was doing with all this pretty paraphernalia meant I could detour my magical girl into cyber-kink territory with r2 A/D/E’s new Seika dress, available at Collabor88, and a leash from Delicious.
savethenvironmentmakemagicUltimately, there’s something un-cotton-candyish about today’s first pic, which left me feeling that neither I nor my av knows how to have fun. That’s when I decided to go to Foxville, where I surmised that magical girls are known for leaving their cars at home.

Credits
r2 A/D/E seika[gold1]Maitreya includes panties (at Collabor88)
[LCKY] Genie Roses pack (at Crystal Heart Festival)
SallieLanguage/Crystal Heart/Wand with pose HUD (gacha at Crystal Heart Festival, but bought on Marketplace because that’s my magic)
SallieLanguage/Crystal Heart/Star pose stand (gacha at Crystal Heart Festival, bought on Marketplace)
*katat0nik* Bow Wrist Strap Darks pack
..::DeliciouS::.. Doggy Dog Leash Gold (Female)
-Glam Affair – Elvi – America – 02 A (past gacha)
NOX. Metallic Freckles GIFT [Cheek / Rainbow] (past gift)
{S0NG} :: Cupid~ Dark Green Eye
pic two shot at Foxville

I, embodied

boosterI went to my first-ever yoga class about six weeks ago. Okay, I went to one when I was 20-something: turning red in the face, sweating, and failing to breathe inclined me to think I was not cut out for yoga. Being instructed to feel at one with the earth almost drove me out of the room: it was the late 80s, so I was a hard-core deconstructionist, meaning that anything remotely spiritual—or just plain connection-oriented—was suspect. (Everything was opiate of the masses. I’ve softened over time. Now I would say it’s weed of the many.) Twenty-five years later, I decided to try again because I want to be a more flexible and physically stronger rope bottom. On the first day, I felt completely at home because rope classes have accustomed me to sitting on the floor wearing a pair of leggings and a singlet—and wondering if I should stretch before the lesson. I debated whether I could apply to yoga the same reasoning I bring to sadomasochistic rope—there’s no sense in stretching if it’s supposed to hurt. (There’s hurt and there’s hurt. Eustress good. Distress bad.) (Speaking of, there’s nothing dangerous under the cut.) Continue reading

Keep feeling fractionation

lookintomybrighteyes

“Seeking EXPERIENCED rope top for rope scene involving intensification of rope sensations. More importantly—I want to feel the top welcome my submission in the forms of going into trance and supplication. Impact play—thuddy—also welcome.”

That’s the want ad I posted on the Wishes Board at MEEHU 3. MEEHU is the annual Midwest convention for erotic hypnosis enthusiasts. (There are east and west coast events for those of you who don’t live in the “heartland.”) I’d been curious about the con but not committed to going until I discovered that many of the classes involved rope and impact play as inducements to trance or as trance-enhanced experiences. (Caveat: hypnosis can cause anesthetization, so the subject may be insufficiently sensitive to pain levels.) I posted my Wish early Friday, the first day of the con, and took it down that afternoon when I realized that I was in over my head, as it were. “Deeper and deeper” the [hypno]tist says to their subject. “And drop!” (There’s no nudity or bondage under the cut but I do refer to f***ing, and to YouTube, which may be more disturbing.) Continue reading

Devolution of an image

what? “Why not break out of the bondage mould?” I thought to myself. Instead of heading to the dungeon in the three-piece Risa ensemble by Violent Seduction, I would create a fun, colourful character. Whom I promptly photographed in a serious environment—the lovely .anc. staircase with its lone window, where ethereal avs go to look otherworldly. It’s a rare gacha and takes pride of place on many an upscale sim. This one is It All Starts with a Smile. [We get kinky sexy under the cut.] Continue reading