2017—the work begins

brightlightnewyearI too am going to say goodbye to 2016 by cursing it loudly and without hesitation. Then I’m going to prepare myself for 2017, when this country—and thus the globe—will be governed by a reckless xenophobe and misogynist. I lived through the post-election disbelief, through the mistaken assumption that I would never run into anyone who voted for the goon, through relief that my local cafe displayed regret and resolution on its chalkboard, and through mean exchanges I had in public places. But I was not outright harassed, threatened, or physically assaulted the way many others were. As a white ciss woman I’m relatively safe right now, but I remind myself that persecution begins by targeting the obvious “menaces” (read scapegoats) and snowballs until no one is safe. It didn’t take me long to realize that we had to get past grief and gird our loins for the next four years of fighting for basic rights and recognition. I say loins for a reason. One thing I encourage you to do is donate to Planned Parenthood. Yes, there are many other worthy organizations, but women’s right to abortion, and to sexual health, is being systematically eroded. This affects all of us. Don’t be lulled into complacency by the fact that Roe v. Wade won’t be eviscerated by a Supreme Court ruling. There’s blatant, loud persecution and then there’s the everyday operations of patriarchy, which, in the case of the government, works slowly and steadily to disempower women. We don’t want to impeach the next president because Mike Pence, who would become the next next president, is far worse. A Brief Reminder That Mike Pence Still Wants to Control Your Uterus.
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On the manster wheel

worship-meIn a rope class, I topped a guy, a small quiet guy who I didn’t know, although I’d seen him around, bottoming for other women. What was I doing, topping a strange bottom?I recall him telling me two things: that he’d been in the scene for 9 months and had stumbled into it when he started dating after the end of his marriage. A day after the class, I translated this into “he’s inexperienced and vulnerable.” I ran through all the reasons I wouldn’t ask to top him again. I didn’t find him sexually attractive. Being in the scene has inspired me to follow my desire for “masculine” men. Big ones, preferably with largish personalities. Besides, I don’t want to tie men. Unless they are at least medium size, reasonably confident and playful. Unless they’re a switch and start by topping me. I would enjoy teasing someone into submitting to me. I would use words more than rope if I were topping someone I desired. I can think of dozens of deliciously cruel things to say to a man I have in my power. I need to think of dozens because I anticipate, I long for, resistance. Topping that guy in class, seeing and feeling him roll over into ropespace, offering no resistance, made me nervous. I started thinking that way. That way that I hate. I started thinking the way a heterosexual man thinks about sex with women. And, I suspect, the way het male tops think about het female bottoms. It took a session with my therapist to chase down the man-thoughts tip-toeing around in my head. I offer them here for your entertainment and edification. (The rest is hidden, so hidden, so deep deep deeply hidden, under the cut, but it’s not because the breasts are any bigger than usual. It’s because the manster wheel is obscene.) Continue reading

Hot for the holidays

homefortheholidaysShooting half-naked avs stresses me out, so I figured I’d keep this holiday post clean. I feel discouraged about shooting sexy pics because I know my audience will be limited, and I can imagine all the people out there who think nudity and eroticism are dirty. I also know that there are plenty of people who tolerate representations of heteronormative sexuality but condemn all other kinds as perversions. I’m a pervert. Although it wasn’t a goal, I’d like to think that my posts on Pleisure have “put a human face” on kinksters. This is not easy to do. I’d been seeing my therapist for two years before I began exploring BDSM. I told her about it right away—finally I had a reason to leave my house! She could have freaked out, could have tried to pathologize me and treat me, but she didn’t. One day, after we’d talked once again about the trouble I was having negotiating successfully with my partner before our scenes, she said, by way of conclusion, “It’s very human.” At first I was shocked that she had thought it might be inhuman. But then I realized that I hadn’t expected the humanness either, hadn’t understood that I would be entering into ordinary frustrating and/or fun relationships with ordinary people. In my ignorance about BDSM, I had imagined that a bad person and a good person go into a room and have a harrowing experience without sharing anything else. That’s what I get for reading all that D/s kidnap erotica! (Which I am not throwing out. Or lending to you.)
bunnbunsThat adorable heart-shaped butt comes from the bunny outfit, which is an old group gift you can still pick up at COCO. It predates mesh avs, but I managed to get it to work with my Lara. If I hadn’t stumbled across this outfit I would not have been inspired to blog for Xmas this far in advance. The end of the year always makes me sentimental, so I decided that for this post I would try out one of the many skins I didn’t have time to blog when Sopha Portal was doing MUDSKIN. Unfortunately, she shut down her shop and didn’t come back as promised. Check your inventory and see if you’ve got some of her skins stashed away. Or check Marketplace where you can buy gachas on resale. I hope that you have a wonderful holiday, no matter which one you are celebrating.

Credits
*COCO*_ChristmasBunny_ group gift (no fee to join)
MUDSKIN/My Ugly Dorothy, MIDO Lelutka applier (not available)
.LeLutka.Mesh Head-STELLA v1.6
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5
Katatonik, arm tattoo, an old Oz Easter gift, not available
tram, F623 hair(L) / bluegray group gift (no fee to join)
{S0NG} :: Cupid~ Blue Eye
Pic 1: Opulence Poses, Sweet Tooth [comes with candy canes to hold] (at Second Level)
Pic 2: OOO Studio, Allegory pack (probably not available)
shot at December will be Magic Again and a private location near Frisenland (yah, I trespass when I find good interior design)
Windlight: Tricolour Sky by Annan Adored, tweaked by me

I topped someone, kinda

tearing-up-saturated I topped for the first time at today’s rope class. It was about untying with intent, which was good, because I can do that. It’s a simple fact that I have no talent for knots and frictions and patterns and physics and maintaining tension while working with knots and frictions etc. But invite me to maintain tension while undoing knots and frictions, while unfixing patterns, while forgetting physics, and I can handle rope like someone who knows what she’s doing. Doing to her bottom, that is. Turns out my instinct is to handle a bottom the way I want to be handled. With body manipulation as well as rope weaving. With slow sensuous movements, then efficient ones, then disconcerting pauses in the action. I didn’t know the man I topped, so I didn’t go too far. He was a very responsive bottom, experienced enough to be relaxed and trusting (even though I was clumsy). I now have a better idea how good it must feel to play with me, because I also respond readily to my top’s moves. (Yes, I said something positive about myself.) (There’s a wee bit of naughty on the flip side of the cut—the flip side of my model’s butt.) Continue reading

Rope’s end

ihazasadcensoredFull frontal nudity under the cut and the latest events leading to a ropeless future. Continue reading

Don’t wanna be a cowboy

donwannabeacowboySometimes I like to challenge myself, and the powers that be, by dressing my av in brown and giving her ponygirl dreams.

Credits
*PROMAGIC* Yodha – Bra – Brown (gacha at Kinky Monthly)
*PROMAGIC* Yodha – Panties – Brown (gacha at Kinky Monthly)
Kibitz – Dali’s leather torso straps [XS] brown – RARE (past gacha)
#EMPIRE – Ipomoea – Maitreya (fatpack only)
[e] Kabrina hair
Messiah : Qavah / Unisex / DBrown mask
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5
INYB, Lexi project tattoo (not available)
*Bolson / Face Tattoo – Fang (Fresh) (C) (no idea where this came from)
#adored – kit lashes
{S0NG} :: Cupid~ Dark Green Eye
-Glam Affair – Sia India – 04 C
poses: Ama & Nais – Cuffed pack (past Romp)
shot at: PFS Stables & Nico’s Haunted Dungeon

A ring around my neck

The text and pics in this BDSM post are not safe for work. The pics may be upsetting to some people. The asphyxiation play they evoke is very dangerous. If you want to do this kind of play with your partner(s), take the time to become a part of the local kink community, and find a mentor who is recognized widely as safe and experienced. Bottoms /subs/slaves, you can read more about keeping yourself safer— not one hundred per cent safe—in the post.  Continue reading

Constantly tested

preparedI’ve been gone for a while. I kept wondering if I was coming back. I’m not sure that I am back. I had two Hallowe’en outfits to blog, but life got in the way, and then I felt no interest in SL. Truth be told this has partly to do with the fact that I now need to use a mouse with my laptop and don’t want to sit at a desk to recreate after sitting at a desk to work. Continue reading

The rare obligation

cagedbirddsontsingharper I’ve had some rope adventures in recent weeks, and maybe I haven’t posted because I was waiting for a scene to shake me hard enough to make it worth relating. I did have to go through a period of mourning after the extremely attractive man who lives in a foreign city ghosted on me. (See Express Yourself for my post about meeting him.) When we met we had talked about me going back to see him. But when I suggested online that we could ponder this possibility, he told me he needed to acquire more experience and education before we could tie again. I exhorted him very cutely to practice on me, but he didn’t reply. (Why venture under the cut? You’ll just be freaked out by sexy stuff. I wasn’t going to publish this post, but Flickr marked my account as unsafe. So let’s try to live up to that. A little.) Continue reading