To play or not to play

Anyone who has been reading Pleisure knows that my fall 2016 rope walkabout was rough. I called one scene because I was being mauled. A Canadian man I really liked, and who seemed to really like me, ghosted. Etc. So I decided to be more careful about who I play with by getting to know a rigger before scening. After a successful first coffee, a potential partner and I made a plan to play a few weeks later. This seemed like a distant event, so I suggested we have dinner sometime in the intervening weeks. His dinner conversation was deeply discouraging. He told me he’d read my Fet profile and couldn’t give me what I want. He told me that he hates the idea of doing anything and that he loathes leaving his house even though he always enjoys himself when he goes out. He didn’t take me up on either of my sexy conversational gambits. I listened to what he had to say and responded patiently, but he persisted, insisted “It’s not you, it’s me.” I was remarkably calm when I told him that I didn’t see myself playing with someone who dreaded the idea of it. “Anticipation, shared between me and my partner, is essential,” I said. “I want to play with someone who is excited about playing with me. I’m not going to come up with a cute outfit for person who might not even show up.” I told him I’d think it over. So there I was, seriously considering passing up a rare opportunity to play, and to bottom for the first time since December, and not feeling like it was the end of the world. I might not be able to do better, but I was glad I could say I want better.
The next morning I texted a friend: “Am I getting to know people in order to weed out the idiots, or in order to find out how idiotic they are and adjust my expectations accordingly?” Her answer was “Both?” I was heading out of town so I had five days to think about what I wanted to do. My potential partner found some enthusiasm in the meantime. At dinner I told him I’m curious about far more than what my profile specifies, and I named some of my fantasies. This hadn’t moved him. Telling him we probably shouldn’t play and I’d get back to him apparently warmed his feet. After I got back into town, I contacted him and suggested we keep the date but not actually scene. “Let’s just do some rope.” He is now sending upbeat texts that conclude with exclamation marks. My suggestion that we aim for discomfort and dishevelment elicited a smiley face. Now I am the one who is reserved. I have an outfit in mind, but it’s not cute: a long silky voluminous dress will challenge the rigger in him rather than put my body on display. And I’ve resolved to negotiate for a hands-off aftercare—no cuddling, no compliments, just conversation. About carabiners, perhaps.

Credits
O V H [aka Overhigh] .Agnes Coat . maitreya (at Versus; this is an amazing steal because it’s a pack featuring four colours—black, grey, white and olive green)
AZOURY – Suzon Headwear with fur&rhinestones Gold [Black]
Le Morte – Lock3d Faith – Black collar
fri. – Sugar.Platforms (Lilac) for Maitreya Lara
Ama. : Taken : Black [face tat: may have been retired or may still be on sale] (I love Ama.)
9 RARE -[TWC]- Blossom tattoo maitreya (recently past gacha; not taking this off ever)
-Glam Affair – Sia Artic tone – 02 G (just plain old)
{S0NG} :: Chibi~ Abyss Eye
mijn.botique accessories / studded earrings n.2 (not available)
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5
Marukin poses
[Kres], Kinky Neon Signs Gacha 10 [Obey] (at Kinky Monthly)

Heartpierced

swingshiftingI’ve been missing, so missing that I couldn’t post these pics of my avi looking so pretty that chocolates want to eat her.
hud-for-dpyumyumI love the cute **DP**yumyum hairdo that Anorak sports in this post, mainly because of the lovely limited-time colour assortment.
ringding Ama’s new group gift is Forever Mine, a Tokon 2 compatible leash-holder in the form of a ring. It matches ama’s Forever Yours slave set. Available at Liaison Collaborative, this set features a chest-plate and ankle and wrist cuffs in the form of hearts with hardware.

Credits
Ama.: Forever Yours (colour-change set includes collar, and wrist and ankle cuffs [Tokon 2 compatible] at Liaison Collaborative) [My one complaint here is that the cuffs are on the undersides of the wrists, so they don’t show up in most poses.]
Ama.: Forever Mine leash holder (Tokon 2 compatible; colour-change; group gift—100L fee to join; other gifts, among them the baby pink and blue penis balloons, are available)
**DP**yumyum, *barberyumyum*57 Limited Color hair pack [winter special, so it might disappear]
.Birdy. May Skin ~Peaches~ (Bare) (oldish)
9 RARE -[TWC]- Blossom tattoo maitreya (recently past gacha) [There’s a variation on this at Kawaii Fair. Unfortunately, the chest reads Babygirl, which limits its appeal IMHO.]
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5
-Pixicat- Delicate.Dress – Red (maitreya)
fri. – Sarah.Janes (Rose) – Maitreya (possibly a special 50L Friday colour)
LaGyo_Laurel earring gold (oldish)
Pose 2: flowey
shot in one of the theatres at Elysium City of Templemore

On the manster wheel

worship-meIn a rope class, I topped a guy, a small quiet guy who I didn’t know, although I’d seen him around, bottoming for other women. What was I doing, topping a strange bottom?I recall him telling me two things: that he’d been in the scene for 9 months and had stumbled into it when he started dating after the end of his marriage. A day after the class, I translated this into “he’s inexperienced and vulnerable.” I ran through all the reasons I wouldn’t ask to top him again. I didn’t find him sexually attractive. Being in the scene has inspired me to follow my desire for “masculine” men. Big ones, preferably with largish personalities. Besides, I don’t want to tie men. Unless they are at least medium size, reasonably confident and playful. Unless they’re a switch and start by topping me. I would enjoy teasing someone into submitting to me. I would use words more than rope if I were topping someone I desired. I can think of dozens of deliciously cruel things to say to a man I have in my power. I need to think of dozens because I anticipate, I long for, resistance. Topping that guy in class, seeing and feeling him roll over into ropespace, offering no resistance, made me nervous. I started thinking that way. That way that I hate. I started thinking the way a heterosexual man thinks about sex with women. And, I suspect, the way het male tops think about het female bottoms. It took a session with my therapist to chase down the man-thoughts tip-toeing around in my head. I offer them here for your entertainment and edification. (The rest is hidden, so hidden, so deep deep deeply hidden, under the cut, but it’s not because the breasts are any bigger than usual. It’s because the manster wheel is obscene.) Continue reading

Constantly tested

preparedI’ve been gone for a while. I kept wondering if I was coming back. I’m not sure that I am back. I had two Hallowe’en outfits to blog, but life got in the way, and then I felt no interest in SL. Truth be told this has partly to do with the fact that I now need to use a mouse with my laptop and don’t want to sit at a desk to recreate after sitting at a desk to work. Continue reading

Not spittin’ cotton

hello mom im in jail Multiple choice question: If this photo looks weird to you is it because you haven’t a) shopped this month’s ROMP, b) read my blog before now, c) experimented with extreme camera angles, d) wondered when master’s coming back, or e) all of the above. (What follows is under the cut for work safety reasons.) Continue reading

(Sw)itch it up

notkidding Now in my fifth week of insomnia, I am attempting to trick myself into exhaustion by blogging. Unable to get to sleep some nights until 4AM, but also unable to do anything else, I am being reprogrammed into the world’s least productive “night person.” I am also being transformed into an enraged matron because some nights the hemorrhoids get in on the vampirification protocol, itching like a million mosquito bites at a hen party. (Prefer undersharing and a nip slip? Venture below the cut.) Continue reading

Prettiest star

commander Portia was minding her own business. Actually, she was imagining that the Doomed Ship would be far less doomed if she were running the bar. She looked fetching in Zib Scaggs’ new Cynthia dress for Zibska. Suitable for deep space and for an elegant cocktail party, it’s fashioned out of down-filled quilted pleather and festooned with feathers on each shoulder. In back it’s finished with a subtle bustle of black-velvet roses. These are arrayed above what can only be described as an all-access passageway. Find your way into it below the cut. But only if you are not observed by other humans. Continue reading