Ready to serve

I don’t have any fantasies of service submission. But Portia likes to keep her eye on the madeleines. I put this look together with discount items: I got the hair, lingerie, eyeshadow, eyelashes, and lip gloss via Fifty Linden Friday, Happy Weekend, and my favourite, SoKawaiiSundays.

I paid a pretty packet for these cuffs and collar, past gacha items by Mug, which I picked up on Marketplace. They are gorgeous creations of lace, leather, and chains. (I had to edit the cuff on Portia’s left wrist. Inworld there is no break in that chain.) This picture seems pretty tame. Until you notice the way Portia’s nipple is playing with the pointed cup of the Savannah bra.

Credits (all items are LeLutka Evo)

bonbon – nagisa hair – ombres (comes with a male fit and with a no-bangs version)

Ricielli – Savannah Lingerie Bra (M. Lara) [with collar not shown]

Ricielli – Savannah Lingerie Garter and Panties (M. Lara)

Mug – Lusty Lace – #11 Lace Handcuff Black (old gacha, try Marketplace)

Mug – Lusty Lace – #5 Lace Collar Black (old gacha, try Marketplace)

[Glam Affair] Anika Layer [Lelutka] 003 E

.E l e i. – Nabi (Lipgloss) / LEL EVO-EVOX

keikumu – milano lashes

Core&Gore :: Osho eyeshadows [pink] Evo

Jack Spoon . summer BEAUTY MARKS2 (gift)

rotten . devilish eyes . anzai

LeLUTKA.Head.Lilly.2.5 (static ears)

[LERONSO GIFT] Mesh stiletto nails “Shiny Shane” 

.DirtyStories. 69 Leg Tattoo (olde)

Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V5.3

poses: nyagore, Little Abigail

location: Ethereal City

Merry Christmas is for Mom

I’m doing my blogging early this year because there won’t be wi-fi where I’m going for the holiday. That’s not entirely true. There’s wi-fi in my mother’s new apartment in the retirement home, where she moved recently because of increasing dementia. Meanwhile, down the street, back at her old condo, where I will stay, there is no wi-fi, cable or phone. Almost all the furnishings are gone except for those in the guest room, which is a comfy oasis in a very spooky abandoned space. This was my home away from home for 15 years, and being there without Mom, even if she’s nearby, is going to hurt like hell. I imagined that after she moved she would demand every day to be allowed to return. I was surprised to discover she doesn’t do this. I have been assuming that she doesn’t recall her former home, but she probably does. The old version of my mother would miss it but never admit it—she always insisted that everything was fine. She’s changed in the last couple of years. She has started to show her pain. She no longer holds back her tears when I’m leaving. It’s not just that she’s going to miss me when I’m gone. It’s that she doesn’t know how she’s going to live without me. “How am I going to fill the time?” she asked me last visit, sobbing. (Somehow she pulled herself together. I was shaken for days. Partly because being alone and at wit’s end is a predicament I know well.) I’ve never understood how my mother has been able to spend her days doing nothing since she retired 20 years ago. How did she deal with the feelings that come with isolation and idleness? I wonder if her fear of being in the world and among people was so powerful that it blotted out the pain. If the pain bubbles up now it may be because it’s safer to feel it: it’s dispelled by the presence of a care worker, who for four hours a day gives my Mom the companionship she missed out on in so many periods of her life. She would never have asked for companionship, never sought it out, before she was ill. If you asked her, she would say she doesn’t want it now. But she loves it. And I am grateful that she’s happy. Merry Christmas is for Mom.

Credits
r2 A/D/E hiten [sheer] (should be in store some day soon but no longer at Collabor88)
CURELESS, Atropine skin Porcelain v.3
bonbon – kaori hair — comes with horns
Salt & Pepper, Story of O cuffs
La Malvada Mujer, Soap eyes (45L on Marketplace)
AsteroidBox. Ayla Necklace – Fatpack (past gift)
amias – DEVI earring (past gift)
.LeLutka.Head.Simone 3.3(static ears)
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1
GingerFish, Frost poses (at Liaison Collaborative)