Did I just play with an asshole?

havingflownout My last post told the story of my afternoon as a demo bottom for a rope class. I ended the post on a high note, knowing that I would have to write another post to talk about the lousy aftermath. As soon as we’d finished class, I told my top how much I’d enjoyed it and how impressed I was that he was a careful teacher. He said nothing positive in return. He said nothing during aftercare. He said nothing when we parted, not even thank you. I was in a very good mood, and I told myself that I wasn’t going to let his being an ungenerous idiot ruin my experience. How did I know he was an ungenerous idiot? I knew because he had said something immediately after class, something I asked him to repeat because I couldn’t believe how rude it was. “You did everything right,” he said, “but what you did is really hard to fuck up.” While we were stretched out together for aftercare he stated “All a bottom has to do is be vulnerable.” I was aghast. He might as well have said that all a woman has to do is close her eyes and think of England. I pushed back calmly, saying that this sounded like typical top rhetoric about (inevitably male) riggers having “hard skills” and (inevitably female) rope bunnies having “soft skills.” He did not recant. Nor did he elaborate. Tops are assholes, I thought to myself as I went home. Why did I think he would be different?
garejacksboroallume I didn’t have to suffer drop the next day to find myself in a funk. When he checked in by text to ask me how I was doing, I replied: “Confused why you followed our class by insisting that bottoms do nothing other than be vulnerable. Nonplussed is the word.” He replied that he was sorry if he caused offense, but he’d stated that in response to a concern I’d shared about our experience in a private class at Shibaricon, which was the first time we tied. I thought I’d fucked up the last move in the sequence we did. He texted that when he said bottoms only have to be vulnerable he was backing up his supposedly reassuring explanation that it’s always the top’s fault if anything goes wrong. This response did not inspire me to communicate further. I went to bed feeling numb, with nothing to say, partly because my experience has been that men don’t want to talk things out. Not with women who don’t matter. How could I matter? I’m just a bottom. Continue reading

Sensei cliché

bendysensei Portia is always bodacious. That can be exhausting. I needed to do demure tonight, so I pulled skinny Anorak out of the sandbox. I liked the school uniform by Me Sew Sexy at Sanarae: the big shoulder ruffles are as function-free as tailfins on a Cadillac. I stumbled across Kibitz’s gorgeous bondage leathers gacha and departed from tried and true black for red (which I bought up on Marketplace). Then I decided that there aren’t enough female senseis in the world. At this point Anorak had turned into an ersatz Japanese wise-old-young-schoolgirl in bondage bliss, so I decided to adorn her hair with more random signifiers of Nipponeseness. (Of course that’s not a word.) If you venture beyond the cut you will find another shot of Lava’s Resort, which is hung with lovely drawings and photographs of roped women. And I’ll throw in a brief account of my odd adventures in subspace. Continue reading

Well suited

frugging No, Anorak is not doing the frug. She’s skating, thanks to the magic of Alyx Aerallo’s Street Skater poses for Grafica. She’s wearing an adorable new leisure ensemble from R2 A/D/E for Collabor88. This month you can choose from three, rather than two, ways of flashing, or not flashing, or kindof flashing, your av’s nipples. There’s also a choice of shorts, transparent or opaque. Don’t think I’ve let you down by covering everything up… Continue reading

Gacha creeper

place to plot I never have enough wiggle in my wallet to wear Zenith, a line I love, but when I saw the Devious Maids gacha at Wayward Halloween I shook some pennies out of that weird jeans pocket that no one needs. (You know the one. It’s crazy small. You stick your finger in it once in a while and wonder if it’s there because old-timey prospectors kept losing their teeth.) I won the blue sleeves, traded the pink dress for blue, and then bought the hat, manacles and heels. When buying gacha items, I no longer need to go to a huge market and overload my Area Search because all the goodies are available for purchase (at charmingly varying prices) on Marketplace. Lest I sound like someone who is insufficiently addicted to randomness, let me say that if I like a creator’s set I will first play the machine, then play it again, and sometimes try once more, and then decide I’m wasting my money and should buy what I want (before I poke a hole in that pointless fifth pocket). Actually, it’s more like: I will first not be able to get into the sim, then not be able to get in again, and sometimes fail once more, and then decide I’m wasting my time and should buy what I want before my inner Mentos-and-cola experiment blows. Fact is I’m always excited when a new gacha event begins because that means I’ll be able to get into the sim for the last one that opened.
hearttaker I’m awarding a new Pleizzie prize to SL Blogger Support, which has been getting early access to more and more events for its lucky members. Thank you Supporters from the bottom of my heart, which my devious maid stole because she loves the soothing pulse of a gacha pragmatist.

Credits
NB Parts of the Zenith gacha outfit at Wayward Halloween are designed for the Maitreya Lara body. Try a demo to see if it works with yours!
=Zenith=Devious Maids Dress (Blue) Maitreya
=Zenith=Devious Maids Hat (Blue)
=Zenith=Devious Maids Heels with socks (Blue) Maitreya
=Zenith=Devious Maids manacle
=Zenith=Devious Maids Shoulder (Blue) Maitreya
:: Purple Moon :: Birdcage is part of the Be Mine Catsuit Halloween Special (new VIP group gift)
Kin-Cricket-[Black]
Maitreya, Lara Mesh Body V3.4
-Glam Affair – December skin – AFRICA 02 G (past gacha)
White Widow, Whiplash tat RARE white (gacha at the Epiphany)
Visage, Beauty Marks – set 07 – really dark (new)
Clemmm – Dark Chic Circus Lashes and big black spots (old Skin Fair gift)
R.icielli – SKULL EARRING /GRAFF (old and a little creaky)
pose one: Ma Vie, Revealed
pose two: Label Motion, Fugitive (old special event pose)
location one: Voodoo Bayou
location two: Wayward Halloween sim

The bride wore gacha

bright sunshine catrina It’s been a while since gacha smiled on me and granted me a rare. This one couldn’t be any more lavish or dramatic. Continue reading

Code red

light meltdown Continue reading

Never let me go

i'msurethat'snotAlaska Never let me go to school, that is. Today I slathered poor Anorak with moles and tears in an attempt to convey just how distressing it is to have to return to professing. Then I didn’t get a closeup, so there’s no emotion here, just a weirdly big-butted babe wondering why she can see Alaska from her front porch.
cupcake Shortcake Sugarplum, creator for No. 7, has just released a stunning array of dark crazy-colour lipsticks, some of them matte like icing, some of them speckled with sprinkles. Sprinkles, like on a cupcake or frozen yogurt or everything your four-year-old creates in some kind of twisted plan to fill you with fattening food. (Let’s face it, it’s kindergarten that starts kids down the sprinkles road. And kindergarten is a form of school.) Traditional tattoo, LeLutka and The Mesh Project versions of the No. 7 lipsticks are available now at The Instruments.
piedra BYRNE’s new Piedra dress, also available at The Instruments, is a perfect harbinger of fall. Sharpen your pencils, but only if you’ve resigned yourself to the inevitable.

Credits
no. 7 [ Cupcake Lipstick ]- pink sprinkles (NEW at The Instruments; ty Ms S!)
Glam Affair – Brandi Sweet – Asia – 01 A (old FLF item)
antielle. Dissolved Tears (Epiphany gacha)
Nox. Beauty Marks [Four]
MIA14 … BEAUTY MARKS 1 (came with skin)
[:Tuli:] Tiny Heart Mole (group gift)
[Lauria] Clara Perfect Fit lashes (n/a)
Altair, loony’s delicious tears (you can’t see them, but they’re prim tears and they’re on sale)
{S0NG} :: Cupid~ Grey Eye
duboo, choucream glasses (so old they’re haunted)
/Wasabi Pills/ Sasha Mesh Hair – Rouge (ty MissAllSunday Lemon!)
(BYRNE) Piedra Dress-Cobalt/Pink and Cobalt/Red in one pack (NEW at The Instruments)
REIGN.- Ballarina Warmers (S)- Flat- BLACK [includes the feet and slippers] (NEW at Collabor88)
MG – Bangles – Painted Leaves – Large – (part of a set, colour change)
Pure Poison – Wooden Fox Earrings (old gift)
Clemmm, Bandaged Fingers
Slink, Avatar Enhancement Hands V2.1 – Casual
poses pics 1 and 3: Kirin from Hera and Nina packs
pose pic 2: Label Motion, Black Balloon pack (oldish gg)
location: tomoto

Silly princess

somethingsnapped Oh no, Princess Predicament of the House of Prats is lost in the woods! Whatever will she do?! More importantly, what is she wearing?  Continue reading

Biomart

that'swhatmywifeusedtocallme I’ve been researching the global exploitation of women’s reproductive labour. In the same part of the world where many resort to prostitution and are victims of sex trafficking, Romanian women are favoured producers of eggs for IVF because they are fair skinned. They undergo the procedure of hyper-stimulation of the ovaries, which is not without risk, in order to produce between 16 and 30 eggs per cycle, for which they may be paid three thousand dollars. Meanwhile, a smart, athletic, blonde college girl in the USA could earn up to twenty thousand for the same labour and yield. (Keep in mind that unlike sperm eggs are a finite resource, so Romanians who donate two or three times to make enough money are jeopardizing their own fertility.) Reproductive tourism flourishes in India and Thailand. Gay couples and single would-be parents as well as infertile hetero couples who cannot access IVF in their countries, or who want to do it less expensively, can hire a surrogate at a rock-bottom rate. Three thousand dollars per gestation is wealth for an Indian woman.  It is also between twenty and fifty percent of the amount a North American woman would earn. Indian surrogates are valued because they are closely monitored, often housed in dormitories for the duration of the pregnancy. The disparity in wealth and rights between would-be parents and surrogates was illustrated recently when Israel evacuated the babies carried for its citizens from quake-stricken Nepal but left the surrogate mothers behind. This is the nature of any contract: once the terms have been fulfilled the relationship between the parties is at an end. In India, surrogacy businesses are not regulated by law. Nor are clinics that sell fake stem-cell therapies. In the west, women are asked to donate eggs or IVF-derived embryos for research into cell therapies. The “supernumerary” IVF embryos are going to be destroyed anyway, so why not donate. Women who donate eggs for research often have family members who suffer from potentially treatable terminal diseases; and they are already primed to donate because of the hype associated with the miracle cures in the offing. Thus far, only one stem-cell therapy (for macular degeneration) has been tested. It took a year to produce enough cells for the treatment—and that’s for the eye, a relatively small body part. Research into methods of producing stem cells without destroying embryos has been deemed “inefficient” because it requires hundreds of eggs, which are in short supply. Because a method like SCNT does not express any of the egg donor’s genetic traits, poor women of colour from around the globe will be ripe for exploitation. Racism will not prompt rejection of donors, but it will ensure that the women are paid very little.
divingbelle As a relatively privileged western feminist, I have the luxury of condemning the commodification of other women’s bodies and body parts. From a position in which I assume that my body will never be sold, I can argue that poor women do not actually have the freedom to choose whether or not to sell eggs or rent their wombs. I can state that any woman who is already suffering sexism and racism as well as poverty is being coerced into this work. Thinking only in terms of western values, I can argue that an Indian woman does not have the “freedom to choose” when she contracts to do reproductive labour. (That in itself is a neo-liberalist marketplace concept of individual freedom, one that I have the individual freedom to abhor.) Looking for a less myopic approach to the issue, I have found at least one compelling argument: affluent westerners’ exploitation of poor women’s reproductive labour is unethical as long as we are doing nothing to end systemic immiseration around the globe.

Credits
r2_A/D/E ayame[M]nude2 (at Collabor88 till the 6th of July)
.HW. [Hollyweird], Thrive – Belly Tattoo- FADED
Noodles – Luna Chain Top Rose Gold XS
r2 A/D/E ayame arm warmers[S]nude (at Collabor88 till the 6th of July)
r2 A/D/E kagetsu boots[XS]sheer
Slink Female Feet (AvEnhance) XXS – High
.:EMO-tions:. * TIZIA*/black with EMO-tions base black – 5
Slink, Avatar Enhancement Hands V2.1 – Casual
Clemmm – Damaged Hands *Bruises and grit* 1
[Haste] Satire Bracelet – Rose Gold (gacha)
-Glam Affair – Mokatana – Jamaica 07 A
.random.Matter. – Misery Brows
pose one: Flowey
pose two: not available
shot at Hangars Liquides