What’s inside a TARDIS?

callboxg I was going to say that my TARDIS is never bigger on the inside. Because I’m gloomy and all. But then I decided to ponder the idea of entering something small that turns out to be big. And I realized that my TARDIS is as big and exciting on the inside as any other. If, that is, the TARDIS is the female sexual and reproductive organs. Tiny hole on the outside leads to big spaces on the inside. Anyone with a semester’s worth of English lit would say it’s a womb metaphor. But the baby berth is not the whole of the female interior. There’s also the vagina, with its G spot, and the (rumored-to-be-hidden) clitoris. These are represented by the TARDIS command console—with its lovely throbbing core. There’s much to be read into the various doctors’ inability to manage those controls. Matt Smith’s Doctor, who slips and slides his way around the console at launch time, is the TARDIS’s most energetic lover. He calls her “Sexy,” but only when they’re alone. Clearly, they should never be alone. If Smith’s Doctor has to race round to throw all those levers and turn all those dials it’s because the TARDIS needs many pairs of hands. If you want her to come. Come to save the world, I mean.
fezgizza Portia was so dressed up when she heard about Tyr Grommit’s gift fez for Auxiliary that she saw no reason to not add it to her ensemble. Unfortunately, it’s a sober kind of masquerade because her Gizza gown with cloak is a donation item for flood relief to the Philippines. You will find it and many more desirable items, as well as straight-up donation boxes, at the Typhoon Haiyan Fundraiser. On the last day, December 8, there will be an auction of stunning one-of-a-kind gowns by couturiers such as Nevery Lorakeet for LpD and Zib Scaggs for Zibska.

Credits to creators
GizzA – Donna Gown [Burgundy] (donation item for the Philippines: see above)
Zibska, Lique necklace (NEW at L’Accessoires; ty Zib!)
[Auxiliary] Fezzes Are Cool – Happy 50th (open gift) If my interpretation is correct, the fez is a condom, and it is, indeed, cool in a “no-glove-no-love” way. It’s a damn good thing he’s got round to wearing one at last.
*League*, Aria Walnut -Apricot -NoBrow -Chest C
+Fallen Gods Inc.+, ZODIAC, GOLD filigree (Winter is Coming gacha rare)
[ #7 ] Vieja Martha :Fly Away: Lashes
:: DUTCH TOUCH ::MaAn:: Feather Eyelashes – Valentine (old item)
:::Fab-U-Lous:::: Lea ( Black) with Liquence . – Hairbase (all hair at Fab-U-Lous is on sale for 75L until the store closes)
Zibska, Halcyon ~ Earrings
Slink, Avatar Enhancement Hands – Casual – Small with Bliensen + MaiTai nails HUD that I do not recall acquiring
POST, TARDIS (free for a limited time)

It’s a Cramps reference, innit


If you prickle me…

zibcoutsmHad anyone told me when I started this blog that Portia’s fanciest outfit would be made of cactus, I’d never have believed her. Was this because I didn’t know then that Portia likes pain? Because the end of irony made working with succulents seem insensitive? Or because the Belgians rejected cactus as undeconstructable? No, no and no. It was because my little mind could not anticipate Zib Scaggs’ imagination. Her fabulous Valentina gown will be shown April 6th, the last day of Avenue’s Spring/Summer fashion shows. It is also one of the limited edition items available in the fashion week market. In addition to the gown and black face-paint you see here, the special package includes a set of delicate earrings and necklace, a pair of simple, strappy sandals and a decorous chignon hairdo in black and white versions. Underneath the cactus skirt there’s a gorgeous black satin evening skirt. All of these items will come in handy if the President’s Ball bans weaponized frocks (or ‘fros).blurcoutmed

Credits to creators
Zibska, Valentina gown (NEW at Avenue Spring/Summer Fashion Week; ty Zib Scaggs!)
::dutch touch:: ::AmBeR:: V2 Dark – PeachyLips [The inworld store is closed, but there’s one skin on Marketplace. Could more follow?]
~SongBird~ Delirium’s Spiral eye makeup (Twisted Hunt gift)
Clemmm -ReSnick eyes
*BOOM* Fearless ankle cuffs (v2) Silver (NEW; ty Aranel Ah!)
*BOOM* Fearless wrist cuffs (v2) Silver (NEW; ty Aranel Ah!)
*LpD* – *Steam Clouds* Earrings White (a Fashion for Life donation item that may not be in store; I will check) (ty Nevery Lorakeet!)
Hello Spacegirl – Ilia Collar (long) L (black) [Try a demo. This collar is very very small]
*SoliDea FoliEs* chameleon rings
Debrah’s, “Coty” HighHeels Black Snake
Blah, Model pose pack 2
GIMPed but not so much that I have cactus needles stuck under my fingernails.

Gotta love a chimney

May your days be merry and bright. And may all your holidays be hella tight. If Portia is looking a little too sexy this Christmas eve, it’s because she finally made it onto Santa’s third list. There’s one for good boys and girls, there’s one for bad boys and girls, and there’s one for very naughty adults. Portia’s just heard the sleigh land on the roof. She can’t wait for Santa to slide down her chimney.

The Gallery Gift Shop has started its new rotation, and this hot cocktail dress by 22769 is available in red, black, beige and mustard yellow. Recently, I mistakenly reported that Dutch Touch closed on December 13th. In fact, it’s open till the 31st, so I am hoping to show off a few of Iki Ikarus’ skins. She’s always been my favourite creator of darker skins. This one is Amber v2. If you like a more innocent look, check out Jaliah.

Credits to creators
22769 ~ [femme] Lucretia Dress Red XS (at TGGS)
[AUX] Holiday Antlers (Bow) [50L till tomorrow]
::Dutch Touch:: ::AmBeR:: V2 Dark – Basic CLB MO HB (high-res)
Bliensen + MaiTai – Samedi – Necklace – Amber (was a gacha, now available in a pack of six necklaces)
[LeLutka]-ELLA hair – Bournville
::Sn@tch Nail Candy (Black/Red Tips):::
pose is from tea.soup’s pack of three poses and mirrors available at Together for Sway
location is the BCC sim: thank you for giving my av a temporary home

Dutch Touch closing


I’m sad to say that Iki Ikarus is closing Dutch Touch. The last day is December 31st! I have long loved her work and am sorry to see the shop close. As a farewell, I’m running an old photo of Portia in Mensje. (I always like a no-eyebrows option.)

Credits to creators
The Sea Hole, Nouveau Silk Dress Melon
Dutch Touch, Mensje Spec.Ed. Pale MU CLA NoBrows Fr with Mensje Lipsticks DeepDarkRed (included in pack) [I don’t think this edition of Mensje is available, but there is a full range of tones The special edition is available but it’s not in the same spot as the regular edition.]
Eclectica, Deco Knot Set Dark Gold
Pop*Feel, Fur Jacket Christmas Red (old gift)
Clawtooth, Louise Brooks Wheat
Adjunct, Marrakech Glasses Gold

Cut and paste

I wasn’t paying much attention to Paper Couture, which I assumed was beyond my budget, until I saw the orange Spotted Pantsuit. I love orange, and now that the flat Hallowe’en orange and yellowish autumnal oranges are upon us, I am feeling especially attached to tangerine and melon, to neon orange, and to screaming orange (if that’s what it’s called). Among SL fashion bloggers, those I admire most are the mix-masters, the women who can take a dozen disparate elements and pull them together beautifully. Uncannily, even. So, I bought the reasonably priced PC pantsuit and Chantkare’s orange Leopsi dress, a steal from The Dressing Room Blue, and I played exquisite corpse with Portia. (F’d Up has her looking all dead dolly.)

In Gone with the Wind, scheming Scarlett O’Hara reached for the drapes when she needed a new dress and emerged drowning in velvet, with a big tassel hanging off the end of her hat. In a skit on The Carol Burnett Show, the comedienne did the same, only she neglected to take out the curtain rod. For Lo’s outfit, I did a Scarlett Burnett, massaging the pouf sleeve from the Leopsi dress into a headwrap. Hey, it’s better than a bustle. (And this time I remembered to make a copy first!)

Portia wears
blouse: Chantkare, part of Leopsi dress (TDR Blue)
slacks: Paper Couture, part of Spotted Suit
jacket: Fri.day, part of Tourist Jacket Army
belt: Veschi, part of Jump Her! (TDR Blue)
skin: F’d Up, Lauren (Smashed) Broken (NSA Hunt gift)
makeup: Dutch Touch, Yri Caramel Metallic Copper Lips (part of VIP gift)
hair: Clawtooth, A Place to Call Home Dusty Black (with Valentine’s birds) (Hair Fair Goodie Bag)
glasses: Adjunct, Marrakesh Glasses (colour-change lens)
bag: Puddles, Dollarbie Chantelle Bag Cream (may no longer be available)
earrings and bangles: Primalot, Africa Colored Crocodile set (colour-change) (subo gift, check history)
necklace: LaGyo, Leda Necklace Gold (old hunt gift)

Lo wears
jacket and belt: Paper Couture, part of Spotted Suit
trousers: Baiastice, Saba Pants Midnight
hairbase: booN, Vine Shaved Hairbase Red (Hair Fair gift)
headwrap: Chantkare, part of Leopsi Dress (modded, du-uh!)
skin: &bean, Babushka-ya-ya (old gift)
glasses: Adjunct, Marrakesh Glasses
necklace: LaGyo Coin Necklace (modded) (old gg)

poses: chicadabynilGiha, Metamorphos set (DUnltd19, at the Slow sim, only till the 26th)
set: Gauged, Photo Studio 1

Blogged out

She wanted to pose on clouds (who doesn’t?) in her spacesuit (get it?), but she didn’t have the energy to hunt. So she sits and she waits for a new idea. Any second now, she thinks, a powerful visual concept will send me into orbit. Ten, nine, eight, seven….

One-hundred percent gravity simulation.

Houston, we have a problem.

Credits to creators
outfit: Tee*fy, Modern Spacesuit (Project Themeory item)
hat: Tee*fy, Planetary Headgear (Project Themeory item)
glasses: Vive9, Risky Readers (old gift)
hair: Lamb, Bang Bang Bob Ink (I think this was a special 50L Friday item and not a general release)
skin: Dutch Touch, JoSJe Caramel Eyeliner Lip EBBlond FR CL2 (VIP Group Exclusive for a very limited time; 250L join fee)
boots: J’s, Thigh High Boots Black
leggings: &bean, Slick n Shiny Silver
couch with three poses: Y’s House, Sofa 01
location: Baffle!

When she was sleazy

Portia surprised me today by putting on one of her oldest outfits, an inventively sexy little number from her naughty RP days. The Ninpo outfit by *sugar* comes with a pair of flat zouri, but Portia used to prance around in a skyscraping set of platform sandals that matched her purple hair. We were in the middle of this photo-shoot when Vinyl Cafe announced its 10L sale of a pair of Violet Chained Stilettos, the perfect hair-matching substitute for the platforms that had both of us wincing in pain.

I wouldn’t want these photos to suggest that Portia used to be a working girl. No, when she discovered her talent for (fundamentally selfish) RP, she gave it away for free. And this dress, with its butt-cheek tattoo, brought all the boys dogs to her yard.

Credits to creators
outfit including tattoos, collar and armlets: *sugar*, Ninpo (170L)
hair: Pixel Dolls, Ballerina Vivid Violet (retired)
shoes: Vinyl Cafe, Violet Chained Stiletto (10L Saturday only at the Dominion Shopping District landing point)
skin: Atomic, Faith Porcelain (old VIP gg)
eyelashes: Dutch Touch, Sjors Eyelashes Duo-Blue Tips
bangles: Mariposa, Animosity Silver
poses: Glitterati, Pin Up poses
location: Saranac

The lady and the scamp

Be posh.

Be pert.

Dress up Dilly Dolls’ Lil Mika in Pink (75L) with Isis by Dutch Touch and Isha by Mashooka.

Play around in Lil Mika wearing Decked by Mango, Mango and Pocky Love by Violet Voltaire.

Whether you hide them under the long skirt or flaunt them in the short, pick up Wretched Dollies’ Cherry Tart socks, a delicious freebie at the Koreshan sim Bake Sale (but only through next weekend).

Credits to creators

Loica wears
dress: Dilly Dolls, Lil Mika in Pink (comes with two skirts)
skin: Dutch Touch, Isis LinerRed in Cream with hairbase (VIP group only, 250L to join)
earrings: Mashooka, Isha in Black (anniversary gift)

Miss Quirk wears
dress: Dilly Dolls, Lil Mika in Pink (comes with two skirts)
skin: Mango, Mango, Decked (anniversary gift for The Deck from Shape it Up)
shape: Free*Style, Little Miss Quirk (pay what you want)
hair: Lamb, Witch in Ink
earrings: Violet Voltaire, Pocky Love in Strawberry (freebie at the Koreshan Bake Sale)
stockings: Wretched Dollies, Cherry Tart Socks (freebie at the Koreshan Bake Sale)
boots: G Field, Short Lace-Up Boot in Gray

Romp if you want to

Soft pink and vibrant orange. The colours of my current favourite set of sheets and of a beloved set from my 1970s childhood. In Vive9’s Spring Vintage Romper, pink and orange point to India. But the subcontinent is too far to go for a blog post. Think childhood, I told myself. Pink and orange. Saltwater taffy! from Howard Johnson’s! in Florida! What could be a more perfect image of happiness? What could be harder to find in SL? /me sighs.

This isn’t the Gulf Coast in March 1977. This is upstate New York in August 2010. The humidity is thick as lard and the ceiling fan rattles like a dying man. Blackflies guard the lake from human invaders, and one mosquito keeps Portia awake all night by dive-bombing her head. (Is it product placement if I recommend Burt’s Bees mosquito repellent?)

Portia moves on. If she still looks good after a sleepless night, it’s partly because Nylon Outfitters knows how to soft-pedal the Harlequin look for summer in the Diamond Romper in Orange. But it’s also on account of her Posh hairdo. This weekend only, Posh is selling all old brunette packs (of four shades) for 50L!

Credits to creators

Look one

romper: Vive9, Spring Vintage Romper (old Project Themeory item; Vive9 may be back this summer)

shoes: Relentless Couture, Cold Hearted Snake in Pink (old limited edition)

skin: Dutch Touch, Sjors Caramel Trix CL1 (group gift, 250L join fee)

hair: Posh, Egotistical in Caramel (on sale this  weekend only)

pose: Esme for pda

Look two

romper: Nylon Outfitters, Diamond Romper in Orange

skin: Dutch Touch, Sjors Caramel Trix CL1 (group gift, 250L join fee)

hair: Posh, Egotistical in Chestnut (on sale this  weekend only)

shoes: Duh, Espadrilles in White (old group gift)

earrings: Sanu, Pearlescence in Pink/Gold (old subscribo gift)

necklace: Sey, Pin Choker (old group gift available in store)

suitcase: Izumiya, GG Trunk in Mid/Orange (gacha)

poses: Pretzel*Poses and K*S (freebies)

location: Motel Onyx (certified insect-free)