To play or not to play

Anyone who has been reading Pleisure knows that my fall 2016 rope walkabout was rough. I called one scene because I was being mauled. A Canadian man I really liked, and who seemed to really like me, ghosted. Etc. So I decided to be more careful about who I play with by getting to know a rigger before scening. After a successful first coffee, a potential partner and I made a plan to play a few weeks later. This seemed like a distant event, so I suggested we have dinner sometime in the intervening weeks. His dinner conversation was deeply discouraging. He told me he’d read my Fet profile and couldn’t give me what I want. He told me that he hates the idea of doing anything and that he loathes leaving his house even though he always enjoys himself when he goes out. He didn’t take me up on either of my sexy conversational gambits. I listened to what he had to say and responded patiently, but he persisted, insisted “It’s not you, it’s me.” I was remarkably calm when I told him that I didn’t see myself playing with someone who dreaded the idea of it. “Anticipation, shared between me and my partner, is essential,” I said. “I want to play with someone who is excited about playing with me. I’m not going to come up with a cute outfit for person who might not even show up.” I told him I’d think it over. So there I was, seriously considering passing up a rare opportunity to play, and to bottom for the first time since December, and not feeling like it was the end of the world. I might not be able to do better, but I was glad I could say I want better.
The next morning I texted a friend: “Am I getting to know people in order to weed out the idiots, or in order to find out how idiotic they are and adjust my expectations accordingly?” Her answer was “Both?” I was heading out of town so I had five days to think about what I wanted to do. My potential partner found some enthusiasm in the meantime. At dinner I told him I’m curious about far more than what my profile specifies, and I named some of my fantasies. This hadn’t moved him. Telling him we probably shouldn’t play and I’d get back to him apparently warmed his feet. After I got back into town, I contacted him and suggested we keep the date but not actually scene. “Let’s just do some rope.” He is now sending upbeat texts that conclude with exclamation marks. My suggestion that we aim for discomfort and dishevelment elicited a smiley face. Now I am the one who is reserved. I have an outfit in mind, but it’s not cute: a long silky voluminous dress will challenge the rigger in him rather than put my body on display. And I’ve resolved to negotiate for a hands-off aftercare—no cuddling, no compliments, just conversation. About carabiners, perhaps.

Credits
O V H [aka Overhigh] .Agnes Coat . maitreya (at Versus; this is an amazing steal because it’s a pack featuring four colours—black, grey, white and olive green)
AZOURY – Suzon Headwear with fur&rhinestones Gold [Black]
Le Morte – Lock3d Faith – Black collar
fri. – Sugar.Platforms (Lilac) for Maitreya Lara
Ama. : Taken : Black [face tat: may have been retired or may still be on sale] (I love Ama.)
9 RARE -[TWC]- Blossom tattoo maitreya (recently past gacha; not taking this off ever)
-Glam Affair – Sia Artic tone – 02 G (just plain old)
{S0NG} :: Chibi~ Abyss Eye
mijn.botique accessories / studded earrings n.2 (not available)
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5
Marukin poses
[Kres], Kinky Neon Signs Gacha 10 [Obey] (at Kinky Monthly)

Wrapped and bowed


kinbakufemdomKinbaku Femdom is the name of a lovely rainy Japanese sim dedicated to dominating men. The house is open on one side, overlooking a grassy garden that plays home to a lazy tiger. I was surprised to see four relatively tame illustrations of fundoshi-clad bound men. I haven’t encountered these anywhere else in SL. They didn’t turn me on. I couldn’t find any suffering in them.
tattedI’ve started to tie, to top, and thus far have practiced only on one small man. We switched at an intensive. He’s good at knots and patterns. I’m better at rope handling and body manipulation. He hasn’t learned to not anticipate his rigger, so I enjoyed slapping and scolding him lightly when he offered up his wrists to be untied. Having spent many rope classes envying the cuddly het couples around me, I was happy to see women tying men, women tying women and most of the couples switching. I also realized that if I’m not locked into a couple, if I’m just taking class with a buddy, I get to flirt with the teacher. Which I did. Now there’s a small man who would look good hanging on a femdom wall.
lybralines

Credits
These pics sat for eight or more days on my desktop. For the gachas you will have to try Marketplace.
.Birdy. May Skin ~Peaches~ (Bare)
[PF] Metallic Lipsticks – Red [edited]
The White Crow, 9 RARE -[TWC]- Blossom (at the Epiphany)
LYBRA .Knots Bodysuit Coral (maitreya) (was at ROMP)
Moon. Hair. // Smother – Pastels 02 (past gacha)
Violent Seduction – Agape Legwraps (Red) (at the Epiphany)
Zibska, Kiele Foot Straps color change ****for Slink feet
Muka, Burlesque Bow color change
[ kunst ] – Piercing #6 (olde gacha)
[atooly] jakayla nipple piercing
{S0NG} :: Chibi~ Abyss Eye
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5
pic 3: Purple Poses, Brigite pack
shot at Kinbaku Femdom If you think you want to visit do it now. Cool places disappear.

Constantly tested

preparedI’ve been gone for a while. I kept wondering if I was coming back. I’m not sure that I am back. I had two Hallowe’en outfits to blog, but life got in the way, and then I felt no interest in SL. Truth be told this has partly to do with the fact that I now need to use a mouse with my laptop and don’t want to sit at a desk to recreate after sitting at a desk to work. Continue reading

Keep feeling fractionation

lookintomybrighteyes

“Seeking EXPERIENCED rope top for rope scene involving intensification of rope sensations. More importantly—I want to feel the top welcome my submission in the forms of going into trance and supplication. Impact play—thuddy—also welcome.”

That’s the want ad I posted on the Wishes Board at MEEHU 3. MEEHU is the annual Midwest convention for erotic hypnosis enthusiasts. (There are east and west coast events for those of you who don’t live in the “heartland.”) I’d been curious about the con but not committed to going until I discovered that many of the classes involved rope and impact play as inducements to trance or as trance-enhanced experiences. (Caveat: hypnosis can cause anesthetization, so the subject may be insufficiently sensitive to pain levels.) I posted my Wish early Friday, the first day of the con, and took it down that afternoon when I realized that I was in over my head, as it were. “Deeper and deeper” the [hypno]tist says to their subject. “And drop!” (There’s no nudity or bondage under the cut but I do refer to f***ing, and to YouTube, which may be more disturbing.) Continue reading

Not spittin’ cotton

hello mom im in jail Multiple choice question: If this photo looks weird to you is it because you haven’t a) shopped this month’s ROMP, b) read my blog before now, c) experimented with extreme camera angles, d) wondered when master’s coming back, or e) all of the above. (What follows is under the cut for work safety reasons.) Continue reading

Choose your embrace

I'm not sick bay Anorak gets chills at the thought of two massive robotic arms. I savour the prospect of two-hundred metres of natural rope. (The rope is probably more expensive, but it doesn’t servo-whine.) Last weekend a very talented woman introduced me to rope suspension. Ecstacy (a feeling of elation and innocence), followed by normalcy, followed by emotional—not physical!— drop. (The theory is that an endorphin high inevitably leads to a low.) Because of my experiences with despair the feeling of drop was familiar. It was tough to find myself in that state. Luckily it didn’t come with the despairing content, and I was able to work my way out of it. I relied on a friend, a struggle to tie my first harness on that poor friend, a dozen rounds of online gin rummy with a program that invariably favors sixes, and staying up well past my bedtime.
give good butt R2 A/D/E: her slinky see-through space rompers give good butt. Continue reading

Unpartnered

bellyinbedshadowed Hicks from the sticks who switch. That’s how I would describe the men I sat with at a small shibari party on Friday night. The men who were tying up their girlfriends, and the guy who was getting stoned and taking pics with his phone, are city dwellers. As are the girlfriends. And me. Don’t get me wrong. The men from towns where there is no cell phone service were perfectly nice people, and the conversation was not awkward. What was awkward was having no prospect of getting tied. Okay, it was also a little awkward being way too close to people who were getting their hogtie on. Saturday night I went to a class about puppy play in a dungeon I wanted to check out. On FetLife dozens of people said they were going to go. Three couples showed up. And me. Don’t get me wrong. I asked playful questions so I could sniff out the possibilities. Quickly I realized that I identify with both dogs and cats, especially when they misbehave. The dog side of me would eat half an unguarded muffin and then have no clue why master was chastising me. I’d probably be happy to receive such vigorous attention. Not to mention stimulated by a swat on the nose with a rolled newspaper. The cat side of me would just play with the muffin as if it were a mouse and then show mistress contempt when she tried to remonstrate with me. Continue reading