Freeing up

moon view Portia’s hair, suit and sandals are all from this month’s Collabor88. I’m telling you this up front because the rest of the post is about D/s, not SL. And it’s NSFW. Continue reading


Heavy sighs

moody Don’t sigh over end-of-the-month shopping withdrawal. Go back to World Goth Fair, which is raising funds for the Sophie Lancaster Foundation, and buy Excess, the 50% donation item from Sakide. It’s an elegant combination of the rubber leggings you see here with a matching cropped bustier. Portia has accessorized this look with the rare nipple punisher from The Fallen at Fantasy Gacha Carnival. Having never seen the like of this cruel piercing, I had to have it and was lucky enough to win the whole ultra rare ensemble on the first play. It also contains a handsome pair of chain-trimmed leather cuffs scripted to bind your av’s wrists to her ankles.  Continue reading

Rare gacha guilt

As if I didn’t have enough neuroses to enjoy, I now feel bad about winning rare gacha prizes that other players would enjoy more than I do. I paid a visit to the Winter Is Coming fantasy gacha event and won a bunch of duds. Against my better judgment, I went back the next day because I really wanted a rare Luas outfit, even though my av is not good with loin-cloths. Immediately I won the outfit and two other rares, one of which is an “ultrarare” complicated combat-ready double-fangled bow from GTS (that is not transferable). This weapon is meant for battle, and I am certain that I have no need to kill or even wound avs in SL. (In fact, I am such a pacifist that I no longer speculate angrily on the tiny size of griefers’ dicks.) What follows is safe neither for work nor for the Thanksgiving table. That’s because there’s nudity, which is ostensibly more objectionable than weapons or challenges to idiots’ manhood.

Continue reading

Playtime for Portia


I officially inform my readers that Portia’s Swallow skin and WTG collar, which are both fabulous, are available at Limited Bazaar for another week. With this formal blog business concluded, I consider myself free to fulfill one of my fantasies: writing about my experience of sexual submission. (If that’s the first line of 50 Shades of Gray, it’s not a citation. I’ve invested too much time in reading unrespectable erotica to go legit in an airport bookstore.) This is newbie stuff for me, and still virtual in the sense that the man I play with lives far far away. I enjoy our complicity as we concoct a scenario. I believe that he likes me ungagged and uncompromising as much as he likes me gagged and pliable. (Of course, this relationship will fall apart and I will hate the [future] son-of-a-bitch, but probably not before server-side baking locks me out of SL. So you get to read the happy part of the story. Only my therapist will have to deal with the sad.) Nothing that I’ve read about BDSM prepared me for the emotional dimension of my recent experiences. I’ve discovered that the eroticization of feelings like humiliation and the need to please makes those feelings pleasurable. This reminds me of Freud’s concept of humour as a means of overcoming a threat to the ego, except in submission one experiences the threat rather than trying to evade it with a joke. Of course, both of these strategies involve play, which, for me, right now, is the foundation of the D/S relationship.
clpcolll The other astonishing thing about the emotions I’m describing is the simple fact that I’m having them. I have never felt humiliated by someone and never felt a bewildered hurt at being misused. This despite the fact that I’ve had lovers who did humiliate me and did mistreat me in garden-variety ways. In those situations I was aware of feeling anger and despair, reactive emotions rather than the emotions that preceded the reactions. Wanting to please someone has never been part of my emotional makeup. (Oh so symmetrically, I have never consciously wanted to be pleased by someone. My pleasure has always felt like my responsibility.) In the situation of playing sub to my dom, I feel an overwhelming need to please him, which, oddly enough, I enjoy. As much as submission forces, or allows, me to exist in a simpler and more malleable form of myself, it also permits, and perhaps requires, me to feel fierce. I’ve discovered that allowing myself to be diminished ritually has the effect of expanding me. (Not every time, of course, and not during every moment of a play session. If my blog entry makes you feel like trying this at home, consider that a penis gag is just uncomfortable if there’s no compelling reason to keep it on.)

Credits to creators
^^Swallow^^ Anja Limited Bazar Ivory (A)
Miss Shippe’s Studio, gold breasts like Midas bukake (gacha)
MONS / Shocking eyes – brown
Dura, Girl 27(Black)resize
Countdown. Karolina Gold Corset S
+:+WTG+:+ **Black Queen** collar (at Limited Bazaar)
Fleshtone :: Vanity Studded Cuffs
HOC Industries – Thigh Boots (Extra Small)
PIDIDDLE – Sharp Nails – Silver Glitz (old gift)
ooo Studio and Gos, Pose Pouf
GIMPed but not PIMPed

Nobody’s wife (nsfw)

sioncollarx My friend Sian Pearl had the nerve to name her devastatingly strict new collar after Portia. I knew that Sian would not be satisfied with a shot of Portia on her way to the opera in a floor-length mink topped with the collar. Even if the mink was dip dye. Not surprisingly, the collar recalled me to my kinky side (which I was keeping in a box with my crooked smile). Back when I was having SLex, I discovered that it was impossible to RP with a fashionable woman. When the man who had set up my first ménage à trois suddenly went AFK, my newbie imagination floundered. There I was in bed with a hot goth hermaphrodite (too many choices…), and all I could think about was her astounding pair of pointy patent-leather booties. Killed the mood, but found out about Bax.
postalxl The Portia collar is available in dark and light versions. It’s rigged mesh, but it’s also modifiable if you rez one on the ground: you can resize and tint it to your dom(me)’s content. The pack contains a version compatible with RLV and other scripts. I still don’t know what RLV stands for. Must be something technical, like rather large vag. [This pic looks lousy small. Please blow it up.]
Credits to creators
During play
MetaTheodora, “Portia” Heavy Collar – dark (NEW; <3 Sian)
MetaTheodora, CyberNips White (these are scripted to open and close and to pulse, yeah, pulse, with, y’know, light and such)
[LeLutka]-JOSEPHINE Hair – Pitch (NEW)
-Glam Affair – Roza – BaroQ 02
Needful Pixel, Sativa Black by Jaimie Earst (comes with open and closed versions)
Locking Binder (free on Marketplace: buy Dari’s Haus BDSM Freebies from Puppy Dog Tails)
poses: Apple Spice, Heartbroken [combined with the binder]
set: William Weaver, Build004 (free on Marketplace)
Après play
:[Plastik]:-Lethal Dress [M]-:// Iren (latest Lazy Sunday)
s u . v i d a – black lace leotard (store is closed)
-Glam Affair – Roza – BaroQ 02
Miss Shippe’s Studio, More than Allergies Nosebleed
La Malvada Mujer – Sibilla #3 [full]
:[Plastik]:-Vaele Coll(Base)://MeteorDark eyes
pose: Glitterati, Headshot 3
location: Dr. Kit’s

Babe meets woods

For a while I was hating mesh because so many creators are using the same templates. I’ve had nightmares where I’m being chased by a pack of those dresses with the extreme V neckline. (The clash of colours and fabrics is terrifying. And I’m pretty sure a few of them are made of polyester. And/or carrying meat cleavers.) Instead of avoiding mesh, I’ve found a way to make multiples fascinating. If I see a style I like, I wait for several creators to release it and then choose the version I think is best (and most reasonably priced, where possible). The tunic Portia wears in today’s post is an elegant and sensuous garment. (It looks so much better on an av than it does in pictures.) I held off buying it until I found LIV-Glam’s version in this rich chestnut-and-gold fabric. On sale this month at Designer Showcase for 85L, the Hannah Tunic actually offers twelve different fabrics selectable by HUD.

I’m sure you’ve all seen the beautiful Glam Affair skin from the current Collabor88, but I’m featuring this closeup because I love the Good / Bye tattoo group gift from Soul.

Wasabi Pills’ new Kylee hair is very seductive. I love the sight of the long tresses turning in on themselves in a way that defies RL physics. Oh, hey, did I tell you I got an ombre highlight job in RL? The last time I let someone put my hair in tinfoil was more than twenty years ago. You’ve all been a very bad influence on me. Thanks for that.

Credits to creators
/Wasabi Pills/ Kylee Mesh Hair – (BOOBS) – Cinnamon (NEW; ty Miss Lemon!)
[LIV-Glam] Fall 2012- Hannah Trumpet Sleeve Tunic-XS (at designer showcase)
lassitude & ennui, Embroidered boots F / XS / purple gold (I got these at Cinema and don’t know if they’re in store yet)
+++Blue Blood+++ Elvira Tights BROWN
Glam Affair – Roza – Brr & Etci 02 RED (at Collabor88)
Miss Shippe’s Studio, OMS O Rama Gold Feather Lower Lashes
SOUL. Goodbye Face Tattoo (VIP group gift)
Al Vulo! MEsh Lashes (came with a skin)
MONS / Shocking eyes – brown
LaGyo_Shield rings copper/white
[ glow ] studio – Black Eye and Tassel Necklace (gold) (at TDR)
poses: The Muse Poses, Tyche pack (NEW; ty Audrey Cresci!)
location: Hayden’s Haven