A bottom’s cranky body

I love playing with Alexandra (not her real name). She’s inventive. She doesn’t follow the “traditional” Japanese patterns—the ones that tend not to be fatal. The second time we scened, she supported my head with ropes at the base of my skull. I ended up with a headache for ten days. I kept telling Alexandra (still not her real name) that we made this mistake together, and that each of us has to be responsible to the other. Meanwhile, I was being a shit because I kept putting off going to the doctor, thus shirking my responsibility to both of us to be proactive about possible serious injury. I looked in vain for a kink-friendly doctor online, and when I asked a friend who knows the scene pretty well, she assumed I needed a gyno, not a GP! I imagined telling a vanilla GP that I was doing acro-yoga, which is a thing, and that we decided to add some rope because my balance is bad. But I’m one of those “I cannot tell a lie” people and I’m also pretty blunt, so I would have ended up saying something like “I’m into rope bondage and the person tying me up may have done bad things to my head. Not on purpose.” The third time I played with Lexie—Ima call her that now—we did not injure me. The fourth time, during a sublime scene in which I was standing on one leg and had the other bent leg suspended, I sustained some kind of butt-muscle injury on the side of the suspended leg. I met a kinky yoga instructor who said it happened because my hips weren’t open. It takes 90-minutes of mostly yang yoga poses to open my hips. (And probably my legs…if you know what I mean.) That injury plagued me for more than five weeks, and I was really worried that I would go into our fifth scene too butt-borked to play much. Miraculously, my butt—which had been especially tender for days, to the point where I was worried about sciatica—woke up pain-free the day before Sexy Lexi (no one’s real name) and I were supposed to scene. I am happy to report that I emerged unscathed from that scene, having not ceased to breathe when she wrapped my chest very tightly. (UNF. Breath play yo.) I hate thinking that my body is easily injured because before doing rope I hadn’t done anything physical—not since I quit ballet at 10 and gym at 16. I also hate thinking that I am really very old and have to be extra cautious. Now that I have been feeling the effects of positions that don’t seem strenuous, I am even more scared to try suspension again. For some reason, however, Lexapalooza (that name actually suits her) and I have decided to try one. I hope she will like my helmet and football pads.
Tram at Hair Fair. Weird angle on Hedda’s weird face. Nuff said.

Credits
tram, G0517 hair (HUD 3) NEW
.Birdy. May Skin ~Peaches~ (Brown)
S&P lingerie and collar Iris – Lara MMM edition (may not still be available in this colour combo, but group members could buy it last weekend when Midnight Madness was on)
#EMPIRE – Ipomoea – Maitreya
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1
AC’s Leather Cuff (free on Marketplace in a very nice, but sadly brown, set)
[Dread] Piercing #5
{S0NG} :: Cupid~ Dark Green Eye
pose not available
shot at Opium Den

Hot for the holidays

homefortheholidaysShooting half-naked avs stresses me out, so I figured I’d keep this holiday post clean. I feel discouraged about shooting sexy pics because I know my audience will be limited, and I can imagine all the people out there who think nudity and eroticism are dirty. I also know that there are plenty of people who tolerate representations of heteronormative sexuality but condemn all other kinds as perversions. I’m a pervert. Although it wasn’t a goal, I’d like to think that my posts on Pleisure have “put a human face” on kinksters. This is not easy to do. I’d been seeing my therapist for two years before I began exploring BDSM. I told her about it right away—finally I had a reason to leave my house! She could have freaked out, could have tried to pathologize me and treat me, but she didn’t. One day, after we’d talked once again about the trouble I was having negotiating successfully with my partner before our scenes, she said, by way of conclusion, “It’s very human.” At first I was shocked that she had thought it might be inhuman. But then I realized that I hadn’t expected the humanness either, hadn’t understood that I would be entering into ordinary frustrating and/or fun relationships with ordinary people. In my ignorance about BDSM, I had imagined that a bad person and a good person go into a room and have a harrowing experience without sharing anything else. That’s what I get for reading all that D/s kidnap erotica! (Which I am not throwing out. Or lending to you.)
bunnbunsThat adorable heart-shaped butt comes from the bunny outfit, which is an old group gift you can still pick up at COCO. It predates mesh avs, but I managed to get it to work with my Lara. If I hadn’t stumbled across this outfit I would not have been inspired to blog for Xmas this far in advance. The end of the year always makes me sentimental, so I decided that for this post I would try out one of the many skins I didn’t have time to blog when Sopha Portal was doing MUDSKIN. Unfortunately, she shut down her shop and didn’t come back as promised. Check your inventory and see if you’ve got some of her skins stashed away. Or check Marketplace where you can buy gachas on resale. I hope that you have a wonderful holiday, no matter which one you are celebrating.

Credits
*COCO*_ChristmasBunny_ group gift (no fee to join)
MUDSKIN/My Ugly Dorothy, MIDO Lelutka applier (not available)
.LeLutka.Mesh Head-STELLA v1.6
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5
Katatonik, arm tattoo, an old Oz Easter gift, not available
tram, F623 hair(L) / bluegray group gift (no fee to join)
{S0NG} :: Cupid~ Blue Eye
Pic 1: Opulence Poses, Sweet Tooth [comes with candy canes to hold] (at Second Level)
Pic 2: OOO Studio, Allegory pack (probably not available)
shot at December will be Magic Again and a private location near Frisenland (yah, I trespass when I find good interior design)
Windlight: Tricolour Sky by Annan Adored, tweaked by me

Rope’s end

ihazasadcensoredFull frontal nudity under the cut and the latest events leading to a ropeless future. Continue reading

A ring around my neck

The text and pics in this BDSM post are not safe for work. The pics may be upsetting to some people. The asphyxiation play they evoke is very dangerous. If you want to do this kind of play with your partner(s), take the time to become a part of the local kink community, and find a mentor who is recognized widely as safe and experienced. Bottoms /subs/slaves, you can read more about keeping yourself safer— not one hundred per cent safe—in the post.  Continue reading

Bliss as a bottom

pale hedda This weekend I had the pleasure of demo bottoming for a shibari (kinbaku) class at the local dungeon. This is something I never thought I would be able to do, on account of my advancing age, my funny face and my generous stomach, not to mention my inexperience. (Where “experience” means two or three years participating in a committed heteronormative relationship with weekly painful, upside-down suspensions mimicking circus-style professional rope performances and/or high-end photographs of full-time bondage models.) It’s true that I wasn’t asked to bottom, but when I found out that the man I’d started playing with was going to teach a class, I volunteered by text and he responded with an (admittedly non-stoked-sounding) “okay.” In January at Shibaricon, I had stepped up as a last-minute bottom when he, a total stranger, needed a partner for a private class with a fabulous rigger. That was an extraordinary experience. I thought it was only fitting that we recreate it. We’d played a couple of times before we met for this week’s rehearsal. I had discovered that he is really mean and prefers to be brutal, and I am not someone who wants to be brutalized. (I had, it’s true, enjoyed grappling with him and trying to evade his assaults. The vicious hairpulling and unrelenting pressure-point-pushing were tough but … well, let’s just say that, if he ever asks, I will not hesitate to deny any interest in breast slapping and nipple twisting.) So I arrived at his place feeling like there wasn’t much hope that we’d be anything but teammates for a single class and thereafter wave to each other at munches. But then we rehearsed and my feelings changed.
pale dramaWe discovered that my top doesn’t have to thump me to be mean. He has the option of meanly keeping me in line, something I never thought I’d allow. The type of rope he was set to teach is derived from Yukimura Haruki’s style and philosophy. It’s designed to exercise close control over the bottom’s body, and yet because the techniques of capturing and tying the bottom use the bottom’s body “against” her, I got to be far more mobile than I could be in a typical partial suspension with impact play. An aspect of this style that I particularly enjoy—because I like to feel humiliated—is the top exposing the bottom’s body. The day we rehearsed, I was wearing a long skirt. My top reached out along my extended leg to slowly pull the skirt up till it covered only a few inches of my upper thigh. When I half-whined “My leg is cold,” he responded “Tough.” This made me giggle on the inside, so he wouldn’t hear me, because it was the perfect rebuff of a gratuitous complaint. When we taught the class a few days later, he gave me the option to demonstrate how fruitless it would be to struggle. That seemed lame, so I said “ummm” and then tried to escape completely. He brought me down easily. I yelped and groaned and knelt with my head to the mat to demonstrate my complete surrender. He rotated me 45 degrees so that the class could see the next part of the demo and then shocked the hell out of me when he smacked my foot to drive my leg back into the proper position. I deserved that, exactly that, as a correction to my behavior, and it was perfectly satisfying. He felt that way too. (There’s nudity under the cut. For realz.) Continue reading

In the hanging garden

all mod cons bwHe called to cancel our date on Friday afternoon. His father is seriously ill. He wouldn’t see him till Sunday. He couldn’t think about anything else. I cried on public transportation for 75 minutes. If it had been a crowded rush-hour train all the bodies would have afforded me some privacy. (One very nice man did give me a napkin and encouraged me to open it to get the most out of it.) In texts, I tried to suggest alternatives to the elaborate rope scene my top and I had been planning. I was selfish, but… I don’t know him very well. It’s possible a little light bondage is the perfect thing to relieve his stress. Tops are said to lack control in their lives and enjoy controlling the bottom’s body; for rope tops this extends to the intense focus of the tying. (Bottoms are said to seek relief from obligations to act. [Obligations to act might be called “power” if most bottoms were men.] My career as a professor saddles me with more responsibility and authority than I want. And yet I’ve never been in a scene that freed me from making decisions. The possibility of nerve damage keeps me alert.) (There’s RL lingerie and, yes, some tasteful avatar nudity after the dreaded cut.) Continue reading

Dastardly

tiltahwilr This new makeup called Back to Black 2 is from Sopha Portal of MUDSKIN, and it comes in Pinky Tan, Native and India skin tones. There is also a TMP version. Continue reading

Up and down

poole I once stood like this to charm a cat. I wasn’t wearing a couture hat by Zib Scaggs for Zibska. All I had was a ponytail sprouting from the top of my head. It moved with me as I bent over to attract a cat famous for evading housesitters. Instead of going into the room and trying to drag her out from under a dresser, I maintained a respectful distance, standing just beyond the threshold in the hallway and, bent and bouncing my ponytail, talked to her in baby talk: “yoo ook sho shilly hiding undah thair, yesh, yoo doo, yoo doo.” No response, not even an involuntary one. But after a few days of these occasional visits and casual greetings when I left and returned home, she came out of her lair and turned into a very good companion, sitting at the end of the couch with me any time I watched TV and in the in-bin when I worked at the desk.

Credits to creators
Zibska, Poole (at The Instruments; ty Zib!)
Bomshie Eisa Tunic Dress Navy XXS
Jalwa – Ornate Collar Henna Black
tram C411 hair / maroon (size40)
-Glam Affair – Skye II – Jamaica 01 B
MY UGLYDOROTHY -Freckles_Light
*MY UGLYDOROTHY -Freckles w Moles
*MY UGLYDOROTHY -Freckles03_Darker
{S0NG} :: Chibi~ Spacey Eye
Slink Avatar Enhancement Hands – Casual
pose: Apple Spice

Make it a double

deco
It’s Fashion for Life time. And that means gowns, even for the minimalists among us. This Relay For Life event is raising funds for the American Cancer Society until June 20th. Today Portia is looking not the least bit slutty in a donation gown from Leezu. The Bon Bon dress is available in many sophisticated colour combinations. There are also some wonderful older items set up for 15% donation in the Leezu booth, including a bandage dress that is now materials ready and a tastefully strappy bejeweled breastplate that every last roleplay fashionista should own. Another tip for anyone who fears the frou frou: SYS is offering billowing long triangle dresses in packs running variations on a single colour like red or blue. For the true ascetic (aka Martha Graham wannabe) there’s a black and whites and green-greys pack. Continue reading