Crises at midlife and midnight

cracklingIs there a difference between my sudden embrace of kink and anyone else’s midlife crisis? I don’t believe so. I can’t be the only person to regret time lost or wasted, to claw my way out of a moribund state, of years-long depression and more than a decade fearing sex. Over the past year I have become capable not only of “extreme” and “perverse” acts and emotions but of acts and emotions PERIOD. I have rediscovered sociability, friendship and intimate relationships. I leave my house at night to spend time with people. (Weeks of tracking my insomnia show me that I sleep best when I come home from an outing and go straight to bed.) I have the peace of mind and confidence to reconnect with professional peers and my mother. I even started shopping again. Now that I am buying lingerie, sex toys and rope for my dungeon nights, a pair of completely unnecessary brightly striped loafers might seem like a comparatively conservative and practical addition to my wardrobe. (Reader, I purchased them.) Continue reading

Think galactically

telepathyZib Scaggs is the kind of creator who likes it when her bloggers do odd things with her works. At least I think she is. Today I’ve combined the outsized interlocked rings of the new Titan hairdo with the orbit of another new style, Enceladus. As usual Zib’s hairstyles, like the Alerio set of men’s necklace and cuffs, are colour and size change. A constellation of new ‘dos await you at Hair Fair, where Zib is one of the most charitable creators with a 75% donation to Wigs for Kids.

Credits
Zibska ~ Alerio Necklace and Cuffs for men (NEW—colour and size change; at The Secret Affair; ty Zib!)
Zibska ~ Titan with Hairbase ~ 05* in tattoo and TMP (NEW—colour change and resize at Hair Fair; ty Zib!)
Zibska ~ Enceladus—Orbit only [modded] (NEW—colour change and resize at Hair Fair; ty Zib!)
Maitreya, Mesh Body – Lara V2.1
no. 7 Geometry Lashes
Glam Affair – Lilith – Africa 02 D
{S0NG} :: Chibi~ Eye Abyss
pose by Riri Nini not available

(Sw)itch it up

notkidding Now in my fifth week of insomnia, I am attempting to trick myself into exhaustion by blogging. Unable to get to sleep some nights until 4AM, but also unable to do anything else, I am being reprogrammed into the world’s least productive “night person.” I am also being transformed into an enraged matron because some nights the hemorrhoids get in on the vampirification protocol, itching like a million mosquito bites at a hen party. (Prefer undersharing and a nip slip? Venture below the cut.) Continue reading

Green, I am envious

hungup I Flickr follow a number of talented SL photographers who favour BDSM themes. I am envious because I can’t figure out where they source their bondage outfits and props. For years Prairie Kawashima has unknowingly taunted me with her androgynous naked Asian av, who poses modestly in perfectly snug delicate rope harnesses. Driscol Byron’s subs, Laura, a Surprise Package in the Kink Department, Sacha Audeburgh, Ash and Laura Demonista appear latexed and leathered, wrapped and strapped, and bound and gagged to within an inch of their corsets. But with the exception of the gifted Surprise Package, who has begun to blog, none of them names her sources. This leaves me searching for kinky gear on the Marketplace, where I was finally rewarded for my submissive patience (or obstinacy) when I found some affordable fetish wear from DRBC. Continue reading

Silly princess

somethingsnapped Oh no, Princess Predicament of the House of Prats is lost in the woods! Whatever will she do?! More importantly, what is she wearing?  Continue reading

Biomart

that'swhatmywifeusedtocallme I’ve been researching the global exploitation of women’s reproductive labour. In the same part of the world where many resort to prostitution and are victims of sex trafficking, Romanian women are favoured producers of eggs for IVF because they are fair skinned. They undergo the procedure of hyper-stimulation of the ovaries, which is not without risk, in order to produce between 16 and 30 eggs per cycle, for which they may be paid three thousand dollars. Meanwhile, a smart, athletic, blonde college girl in the USA could earn up to twenty thousand for the same labour and yield. (Keep in mind that unlike sperm eggs are a finite resource, so Romanians who donate two or three times to make enough money are jeopardizing their own fertility.) Reproductive tourism flourishes in India and Thailand. Gay couples and single would-be parents as well as infertile hetero couples who cannot access IVF in their countries, or who want to do it less expensively, can hire a surrogate at a rock-bottom rate. Three thousand dollars per gestation is wealth for an Indian woman.  It is also between twenty and fifty percent of the amount a North American woman would earn. Indian surrogates are valued because they are closely monitored, often housed in dormitories for the duration of the pregnancy. The disparity in wealth and rights between would-be parents and surrogates was illustrated recently when Israel evacuated the babies carried for its citizens from quake-stricken Nepal but left the surrogate mothers behind. This is the nature of any contract: once the terms have been fulfilled the relationship between the parties is at an end. In India, surrogacy businesses are not regulated by law. Nor are clinics that sell fake stem-cell therapies. In the west, women are asked to donate eggs or IVF-derived embryos for research into cell therapies. The “supernumerary” IVF embryos are going to be destroyed anyway, so why not donate. Women who donate eggs for research often have family members who suffer from potentially treatable terminal diseases; and they are already primed to donate because of the hype associated with the miracle cures in the offing. Thus far, only one stem-cell therapy (for macular degeneration) has been tested. It took a year to produce enough cells for the treatment—and that’s for the eye, a relatively small body part. Research into methods of producing stem cells without destroying embryos has been deemed “inefficient” because it requires hundreds of eggs, which are in short supply. Because a method like SCNT does not express any of the egg donor’s genetic traits, poor women of colour from around the globe will be ripe for exploitation. Racism will not prompt rejection of donors, but it will ensure that the women are paid very little.
divingbelle As a relatively privileged western feminist, I have the luxury of condemning the commodification of other women’s bodies and body parts. From a position in which I assume that my body will never be sold, I can argue that poor women do not actually have the freedom to choose whether or not to sell eggs or rent their wombs. I can state that any woman who is already suffering sexism and racism as well as poverty is being coerced into this work. Thinking only in terms of western values, I can argue that an Indian woman does not have the “freedom to choose” when she contracts to do reproductive labour. (That in itself is a neo-liberalist marketplace concept of individual freedom, one that I have the individual freedom to abhor.) Looking for a less myopic approach to the issue, I have found at least one compelling argument: affluent westerners’ exploitation of poor women’s reproductive labour is unethical as long as we are doing nothing to end systemic immiseration around the globe.

Credits
r2_A/D/E ayame[M]nude2 (at Collabor88 till the 6th of July)
.HW. [Hollyweird], Thrive – Belly Tattoo- FADED
Noodles – Luna Chain Top Rose Gold XS
r2 A/D/E ayame arm warmers[S]nude (at Collabor88 till the 6th of July)
r2 A/D/E kagetsu boots[XS]sheer
Slink Female Feet (AvEnhance) XXS – High
.:EMO-tions:. * TIZIA*/black with EMO-tions base black – 5
Slink, Avatar Enhancement Hands V2.1 – Casual
Clemmm – Damaged Hands *Bruises and grit* 1
[Haste] Satire Bracelet – Rose Gold (gacha)
-Glam Affair – Mokatana – Jamaica 07 A
.random.Matter. – Misery Brows
pose one: Flowey
pose two: not available
shot at Hangars Liquides

Oblivion is all you crave

can'tsleep Portia can’t understand why she isn’t able to fall asleep. Me either. Continue reading

Waiting so long (I’ve been)

beenalongtime Quitterie is the latest lacy lingerie from Yukachoco Magic for Chocolate Atelier. It’s available at On9 in black, red, white and green, worn here. There are system layers and appliers for bodies by Maitreya, shown here, Slink, TMP and Wowmeh. I was curious about the origin of the name and discovered that Quitterie is both a rabbit-headed manga character and an obscure virgin martyr. The French female name Quitterie means “quiet.” That’s perfect for poor muzzled Portia, who awaits the return of her master, not because she longs to be freed but because she is impatient to be punished and petted. Continue reading

It happened

restful moment This is one of those posts that’s hiding the very very naughty bits under the cut. It’s also hiding the latest accessories from Zib Scaggs for Zibska. Not to mention an account of what I mean by “it” when I say “it happened.” Continue reading