BDSM meets the moon

I had a wonderful experience at a recent rope convention with a man who needed a partner and advertised on Fet. I really liked him, to the point where I thought I might be finally meeting someone I could date. We spent some meals together and scened three times. He introduced me to breath play in the most moderate way possible and thrilled me in several other hot/mean ways. Things did go wrong at the con. I was triggered by a trigger warning. He did not handle that well, could not even empathize with me when I told him about being assaulted. But it was the last day, and he was already pulling away. A few days later, he wrote to check in and told me he was disappointed with the con and with missing the classes that I was unable to hack.

I tried over the past two weeks to be patient and let him go through drop and job stress and come out with positive feelings. But I stopped short of telling him he was an amazing top. I wanted to spare myself the humiliation I’ve experienced in the past: I would PM a top to tell him he was wonderful and describe the parts of our scene I loved, and I would hear nothing in response. I ended up humiliated anyway, because eventually, all my con partner could say was “Don’t worry, you were very good within the parameters.” I sent him an angry message in response to that, and he replied by saying that he’d reread all his messages and didn’t know what he’d said wrong. And felt sad. I then sent a conciliatory message, telling him that from my perspective we had been very lucky to find a partnership that was so enjoyable. We are both intellectuals. He likes good art, not Renoir. I found him attractive without wanting to have sex with him, which is perfect for rope and coincided with his limit on sex. He wore appealingly odd outfits, and would randomly touch my ankle or knee in an affectionate way during class. This was lovely because I wanted to touch him too, and that’s unusual for me: if there’s no connection and chemistry with a stranger, I have no way of faking it. Many times I have sat on mats separated from partners by two or three feet, feeling envious of the cuddling couples in the classes. This time I was with someone who invited me to get close without pressing for it, who even welcomed me when I asked if I could climb into his lap on a morning I was particularly stiff and tired. He stroked my back while I lay there and asked me if I purred. (Be warned: below the cut is a big bare butt.)
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Pervy Haruka

Once again, I shot pics, didn’t like them, got busy, did some rope bondage, recovered, thought I’d toss these up because I do really like Haruka, a recent ensemble from r2 A/D/E. It was available at the April Collabor88, so look for it in the main store soon.
Is it odd that I sank a lot of lindens into the Simone head, played with it, and then got so distracted by life that I didn’t announce to the world that my av could finally express herself? I’m not getting the joy I once got in SL.

Credits
The outfit comes in three parts, and I’m not quite sure I have them right:
1. r2 A/D/E haruka boots[black]Maitreya
r2 A/D/E haruka panties[black]Maitreya
2. r2 A/D/E haruka top[black]Maitreya
r2 A/D/E haruka mask[black]Maitreya (not shown)
3. r2 A/D/E haruka[black]Maitreya (the apron thingie)
.LeLutka.Head.Simone 2.7
Glam Affair, Kinga skin Lelutka applier
Arise, Ela brow black
Tableau Vivant \\ Spring curls 4 – B+W (gacha)
Clemmm – ReSnick eyes .black sclera.
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1
Fallen Gods, Courtesan Lotus Breast Paint
[ME] Owned tattoo
!IT! – Happy Together Bracelet
!IT! – Spike Earring
pose pic two: Bauhaus Movement, Chocolate Anime 23

Cozy n cute

All winter I watched labels like AMITOMO infiltrate events with lovely calf-length baggy outfits. I wanted one, them, some…because I felt like my avs, Portia, Anorak, even Hedda, were tired of slinking around half-naked or bound. But the cornucopia of fetish events leaves a kinkster little time for cozy and cute. When I realized that spring is here, but I was still longing for something capacious, I decided to stop by AMITOMO and, after studying the options, hit the Handmade gacha. I also picked up Exile’s free hair and won Katatonik’s bunny ears, a randomized gift, from the Magic of Ozimals egg hunt. Somehow, cuddly led me back to Mother Goose’s and an olde LB skin that you can still win. And yes, I couldn’t stop myself from going tone on tone. It’s my one OCD tendency, or my version of comfort food.
I also pulled the handle on DAMI’s uniforms gacha at Spring Scandal because the rares are beautifully made. All I got was a lavender hoodie. (I hate casual.) I considered drowning it with the other bunnies—just kidding!—but then decided I could experiment with the kawaii schoolgirl look. It’s not the same without long black hair and either a ghost or a dom. Or both…

Not credited above
hair, pic 2: barberyumyum group gift
skin, pic 2: Glam Affair, Elvi (old but gacha so it might be available)
pose, pic 1: an lar, infinity pack
shot at AMITOMO

Misunderstood

Again, I’ve held off on posting pix because I was trying to write about a recent scene. Each time I went back to the writing, I sucked a little more life out of it. Five minutes ago, while I was on my way home from buying groceries, I realized that I have something else to offer my readers, something more than news of a clearance sale. Not long ago, I was lucky enough to participate in an excellent GRUE (Graydancer’s Ropetastic Unconference Extravaganza, obvs). In an unconference, the participants create the classes. One session was a discussion about pain and humiliation. I love humiliation. I dislike pain. As in, pain is painful; but also as in, pain doesn’t do anything for me. I thought that taking the class might help me find a humiliating side of pain. But the the discussion leader is like me. She explained that being slapped fast and hard in the face just hurts physically. It doesn’t humiliate her. Being slapped less roughly, as if she were being rebuked for bad behavior, makes her cheeks burn with shame. That burn, by the way, comes from the inside, in the same way a blush does, not from the sting of the slap. I chimed in early in the conversation, saying that what I like is discomfort rather than pain. (Discomfort is not the right word, because it’s not strong enough, but I couldn’t think of another term.) The discussion leader nodded and then asked me how I feel when someone deals out pain, and I replied, without thinking about it, “misunderstood.” This is not “misunderstood” as in being mistaken for a snob instead of recognized as reserved. This is “misunderstood” as in experiencing a sadness that must date back to childhood because it is the sadness of a very small person. And it goes unrecognized when someone smacks me for the sake of the smack.
The pictures in today’s post took mere minutes to shoot. On both occasions, I was just goofing around with my av, who is dressed for an ordinary day as a ghoul on the grid in the image above. In the first picture, she is only half styled. Practically naked without her tattoo and cuffs and gun or cuddlebunny. And her hair, sorry to say, is now gone forever, because creator Kavar Cleanslate is bringing new textures to the Exile line. Re:Japonica and the March Collabor88 are over, so you will have to stalk the Air and R2 A/D/E shops until their goodies arrive on the shelves.

Pic 1
R2 A/D/E, Shun dress and bodysuit
Lelutka, Simone Head (Bento)
Glam Affair, Adley applier (50L Friday version)
Exile, Liaison Wildcards
Eclectic Randomness, Mesh Doll Cabinet pose prop
Pic 2
Air, Toriko pose prop
Pixicat, Ambrosia dress mini version
Red Mint, hair no 39 Fantasy o.7-9
1mm, tabi and geta (past gift)

Koibito kimono

Finger the deliciously erotic goods at Re:Japonica and stock up for your next orientalist scene. But only until April 9, which is April 8th in the West. Get there by the 7th to be safe. (Venture under the cut only if you are alone and certain the FBI hasn’t slaved your microwave.) Continue reading

To play or not to play

Anyone who has been reading Pleisure knows that my fall 2016 rope walkabout was rough. I called one scene because I was being mauled. A Canadian man I really liked, and who seemed to really like me, ghosted. Etc. So I decided to be more careful about who I play with by getting to know a rigger before scening. After a successful first coffee, a potential partner and I made a plan to play a few weeks later. This seemed like a distant event, so I suggested we have dinner sometime in the intervening weeks. His dinner conversation was deeply discouraging. He told me he’d read my Fet profile and couldn’t give me what I want. He told me that he hates the idea of doing anything and that he loathes leaving his house even though he always enjoys himself when he goes out. He didn’t take me up on either of my sexy conversational gambits. I listened to what he had to say and responded patiently, but he persisted, insisted “It’s not you, it’s me.” I was remarkably calm when I told him that I didn’t see myself playing with someone who dreaded the idea of it. “Anticipation, shared between me and my partner, is essential,” I said. “I want to play with someone who is excited about playing with me. I’m not going to come up with a cute outfit for person who might not even show up.” I told him I’d think it over. So there I was, seriously considering passing up a rare opportunity to play, and to bottom for the first time since December, and not feeling like it was the end of the world. I might not be able to do better, but I was glad I could say I want better.
The next morning I texted a friend: “Am I getting to know people in order to weed out the idiots, or in order to find out how idiotic they are and adjust my expectations accordingly?” Her answer was “Both?” I was heading out of town so I had five days to think about what I wanted to do. My potential partner found some enthusiasm in the meantime. At dinner I told him I’m curious about far more than what my profile specifies, and I named some of my fantasies. This hadn’t moved him. Telling him we probably shouldn’t play and I’d get back to him apparently warmed his feet. After I got back into town, I contacted him and suggested we keep the date but not actually scene. “Let’s just do some rope.” He is now sending upbeat texts that conclude with exclamation marks. My suggestion that we aim for discomfort and dishevelment elicited a smiley face. Now I am the one who is reserved. I have an outfit in mind, but it’s not cute: a long silky voluminous dress will challenge the rigger in him rather than put my body on display. And I’ve resolved to negotiate for a hands-off aftercare—no cuddling, no compliments, just conversation. About carabiners, perhaps.

Credits
O V H [aka Overhigh] .Agnes Coat . maitreya (at Versus; this is an amazing steal because it’s a pack featuring four colours—black, grey, white and olive green)
AZOURY – Suzon Headwear with fur&rhinestones Gold [Black]
Le Morte – Lock3d Faith – Black collar
fri. – Sugar.Platforms (Lilac) for Maitreya Lara
Ama. : Taken : Black [face tat: may have been retired or may still be on sale] (I love Ama.)
9 RARE -[TWC]- Blossom tattoo maitreya (recently past gacha; not taking this off ever)
-Glam Affair – Sia Artic tone – 02 G (just plain old)
{S0NG} :: Chibi~ Abyss Eye
mijn.botique accessories / studded earrings n.2 (not available)
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5
Marukin poses
[Kres], Kinky Neon Signs Gacha 10 [Obey] (at Kinky Monthly)

Heartpierced

swingshiftingI’ve been missing, so missing that I couldn’t post these pics of my avi looking so pretty that chocolates want to eat her.
hud-for-dpyumyumI love the cute **DP**yumyum hairdo that Anorak sports in this post, mainly because of the lovely limited-time colour assortment.
ringding Ama’s new group gift is Forever Mine, a Tokon 2 compatible leash-holder in the form of a ring. It matches ama’s Forever Yours slave set. Available at Liaison Collaborative, this set features a chest-plate and ankle and wrist cuffs in the form of hearts with hardware.

Credits
Ama.: Forever Yours (colour-change set includes collar, and wrist and ankle cuffs [Tokon 2 compatible] at Liaison Collaborative) [My one complaint here is that the cuffs are on the undersides of the wrists, so they don’t show up in most poses.]
Ama.: Forever Mine leash holder (Tokon 2 compatible; colour-change; group gift—100L fee to join; other gifts, among them the baby pink and blue penis balloons, are available)
**DP**yumyum, *barberyumyum*57 Limited Color hair pack [winter special, so it might disappear]
.Birdy. May Skin ~Peaches~ (Bare) (oldish)
9 RARE -[TWC]- Blossom tattoo maitreya (recently past gacha) [There’s a variation on this at Kawaii Fair. Unfortunately, the chest reads Babygirl, which limits its appeal IMHO.]
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5
-Pixicat- Delicate.Dress – Red (maitreya)
fri. – Sarah.Janes (Rose) – Maitreya (possibly a special 50L Friday colour)
LaGyo_Laurel earring gold (oldish)
Pose 2: flowey
shot in one of the theatres at Elysium City of Templemore

Wrapped and bowed


kinbakufemdomKinbaku Femdom is the name of a lovely rainy Japanese sim dedicated to dominating men. The house is open on one side, overlooking a grassy garden that plays home to a lazy tiger. I was surprised to see four relatively tame illustrations of fundoshi-clad bound men. I haven’t encountered these anywhere else in SL. They didn’t turn me on. I couldn’t find any suffering in them.
tattedI’ve started to tie, to top, and thus far have practiced only on one small man. We switched at an intensive. He’s good at knots and patterns. I’m better at rope handling and body manipulation. He hasn’t learned to not anticipate his rigger, so I enjoyed slapping and scolding him lightly when he offered up his wrists to be untied. Having spent many rope classes envying the cuddly het couples around me, I was happy to see women tying men, women tying women and most of the couples switching. I also realized that if I’m not locked into a couple, if I’m just taking class with a buddy, I get to flirt with the teacher. Which I did. Now there’s a small man who would look good hanging on a femdom wall.
lybralines

Credits
These pics sat for eight or more days on my desktop. For the gachas you will have to try Marketplace.
.Birdy. May Skin ~Peaches~ (Bare)
[PF] Metallic Lipsticks – Red [edited]
The White Crow, 9 RARE -[TWC]- Blossom (at the Epiphany)
LYBRA .Knots Bodysuit Coral (maitreya) (was at ROMP)
Moon. Hair. // Smother – Pastels 02 (past gacha)
Violent Seduction – Agape Legwraps (Red) (at the Epiphany)
Zibska, Kiele Foot Straps color change ****for Slink feet
Muka, Burlesque Bow color change
[ kunst ] – Piercing #6 (olde gacha)
[atooly] jakayla nipple piercing
{S0NG} :: Chibi~ Abyss Eye
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5
pic 3: Purple Poses, Brigite pack
shot at Kinbaku Femdom If you think you want to visit do it now. Cool places disappear.

Too many to march

standanddeliversannaWhen the organizers of the women’s march realized 50,000 people might show up, they canceled the planned u-turn route so the crowd wouldn’t run into itself. When 250,000 showed up today, they had to cancel what was left of the march, a short, straight shot from the park to Federal Plaza. We marched it all the same. This was a beautiful day. It was a rally, not a protest, but there were dozens of resistance-inspiring signs and slogans. My favourite by far was “The pussy grabs back.”
stalking-nurseWounded and without the Affordable Care Act, which the Republicans repealed in the dead of night. Now they’ll defund it. They have no plan to replace it.

Credits
r2 A/D/E tsubaki[white&red]Maitreya (at Collabor88: the two items are sold separately; there are also cool armwarmers)
r2 A/D/E tsubaki boots[white&red]Maitreya (at Collabor88: the two items are sold separately)
Violetility – Voodoo Doll Heart and Spine CHERRY (at Memento Mori)
Nox, Spanked butt (includes butt, chest, vag and vag and butt, classic layers, TMP and OMEGA appliers) (at ROMP)
Suicide Gurls, Asrid Unisex tattoo (VIP group gift—fee to join)
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V3.5
La Petite Morte, india v2 albino lelutka applier tone 1 (on sale for 100L—go upstairs to find it)
.LeLutka.Mesh Head-STELLA v1.6
[LeLutka]-BRIGITTE hair – Marilyn (on Marketplace)
{S0NG} :: Cupid~ Blue Eye
Shot at Insilico