Constantly tested

preparedI’ve been gone for a while. I kept wondering if I was coming back. I’m not sure that I am back. I had two Hallowe’en outfits to blog, but life got in the way, and then I felt no interest in SL. Truth be told this has partly to do with the fact that I now need to use a mouse with my laptop and don’t want to sit at a desk to recreate after sitting at a desk to work. Continue reading


Cheesecake at 50?

wide of the mark I did not plan to win the gachus rarus maximus Goth Queen head by Antielle and May’s Soul. But when I did, on one of my signature lucky first plays, I decided to have some fun. I’ve been thinking about modeling for kinky photography—the one thing that holds me back is how ugly I am (old, fat, ugly, did I say ugly? Did I mention crotchety?). What, I wondered, would dumpy, grey—and somewhat feral—Goth Queen do if she followed my fantasy of posing for cheesecake photos? At 50, Goth Queen is no sick fashionista. So she would make some dubious wardrobe choices: covering her fat upper arms and age-spotted chest with a formal jacket and imagining that the big ruffles will draw attention away from her small breasts and protruding stomach. As today’s photos show, however, it’s not the matronly outfit that ruined the first picture. One can be fifty shades of fetching without baring one’s flesh. But a pin-up must project confidence and experience, never posing and smiling like a virgin on prom night.
visibly gothThis is much better: softer lighting, a pose that makes a viewer want to unfurl the model, and a sexy smile. Wait, is that a smile? Continue reading

Gone soft

artemisfrI like my avi like I like my men. Hard. Scary. So I was quite surprised to find I’d turned Portia into a gentle creature with a serene face, silky soft hair and a beautiful blue floral wreath from Zib Scaggs for Zibska. Portia uses her big bow only to defend tiny pregnant woodland creatures who are no less beautiful because they have freckles. Her flowing silk tunic with tights is also by Zibska. Available at Gothmas by Gaslight, the costume comes in black, violet and in sangue, which, as you can see here, features a muted red-on-black floral fabric. I am often disappointed by Goth-themed fairs, but this one has much to offer.
elfclp It may be that I was inspired to go soft by Sopha Portal’s new face for My UglyDorothy, Megan, who is based on Miss Fox. All the Megan lipsticks are vivid reds and pinks and the eyebrows are dark and hearty. So it’s ironic that I was drawn to the plain pale lip and a bald brow. Megan is one of the UglyDorothy skins that you tailor to your taste, mixing and matching blush, lipstick, eye makeup and eyebrows. There are eight different body tones, each of which you buy separately (for 1,000L; these can be used with other makeups, not just Megan). Then you buy the matching Megan base tone, which contains eyebrows (for 500L). Finally you choose from a variety of Megan makeup packs (at 350L each). Of course there’s also a Megan shape so that you can simulate the full-on Fox. See all the makeups on Sopha Portal’s Flickr.

Credits to creators
Most of the following My UglyDorothy elements are sold separately (ty Sopha!)
My UglyDorothy- Body tone1(hard) (with and without cleavage options)
My UglyDorothy -Megan base_tone1 [for the pale lips, which come with and without teeth options] (NEW)
My UglyDorothy -Megan_Queen5 Eye_tone1 with Megan Blush1_tone1~4 (the blushes are included with all makeups) (NEW)
Zibska, Huld in Sangue (NEW at Gothmas by Gaslight; ty Zib!)
Zibska, La Vie En Deux ~ Headpiece [comes with spectacular matching open ruff; colour-change] (full release at Gothmas by Gaslight; ty Zib!)
~silentparrow!~ (women’s) Fenris Leather Cuff (3 colour-change)
.:ellabella:. Saint – Jet piercing
Gaea, black diamond earrings and nose stud
/Wasabi Pills/ Claudette Mesh Hair – Night shadow
lassitude & ennui, Suede boots F / XS / black
Slink, Avatar Enhancement Hands – Casual
[GTS] Compound Bow~1.8~E-volution [thus far I have learned how to get my avi to wear it; the rest is too complicated for someone without bloodlust] (gacha rare)
shot at Gothmas by Gaslight

Hella posh

halxo Hallowe’en is the busiest time of year for a Second Life blogger. I suspect that olden-days bloggers were so desperate trying to choose the perfect eyes to match the best horns that they invented trick or treating. They knew what modern science has yet to confirm—that without dozens of small individually wrapped artificially flavored pieces of chewy sugar our brains cannot tell the difference between poses for fast zombies and poses for slow ones.

bkwtHalo, the new outfit from Aliza Karu for Angels and Demons, is the most elegant gown Portia has ever worn. The shape is divine. Those panels wrap around the hips like hands. I especially love the combination of fabrics and the limited palette of softened black and washed-out blue and brown. I admit to being so taken with the dress that I did three separate photo shoots trying to do it justice. I finally decided that I was overthinking the dam. What matters is showing it to all of you. Please visit my Flickr page for another pic.

Credits to creators
Angels and Demons Creations Halo dress (comes with hat shown here and a posture collar not shown) (NEW; ty Aliza!)
*LpD* MakeUp – *Sonya* Complete (NEW at Cosmetic Fair; ty Nevery!)
LG Concept_Gap teeth lips red (very old)
.la petite morte. wixson pale fantasy 2 NB CL (not available)
-Suicidal Unborn!- Jelly Eyes Tricolor *Basic* (LARGE) (gift in shop)
Letis Tattoo :: Hannya :: 75% :: Not the face :: MM13021 (comes with hand, foot, boob and butt appliers) (at Perfect Wardrobe)
Slink, Avatar Enhancement Hands – Casual – Medium
blackliquid, floral fall nails (for Slink hands)
Pic one: [Modern.Couture] Jewelry – Jade Bracelets and Rings (89L at Material Girls)
blackliquid, Kaja earrings
Pic two: [Modern.Couture] Jewelry – Jade Earrings (come with necklace) (89L at Material Girls) [I changed my mind about the earrings because I realized that if Portia was going to wear emeralds she should drip with them. Styling 101, eh?]
[Modern.Couture] Jewelry – Jade Bracelets and Rings (89L at Material Girls)
~Tableau Vivant~ Dreamscape Hair – Horns (part of a hairdo at Body Mod fair)
“LoQ Hairs” Hairbase – Jet Black
pose one: The Muses
pose two: PDA
GIMPage was waged

Rising star


The new Star of Venus ballgown by Sion Pearl for MetaTheodora would do any diva proud. The rigged mesh gown is one piece: an articulated metal corset with glowing hoops over a floor-length green skirt. The resizable nipple covers and resizable helmet and the gauntlets are all separate pieces, which your av could pair with a latex catsuit for work or with jeans for girls night out.
Snapshot_038 cop2yp

Try as I might, I could not get a full-length shot of Portia when I went on location to Hangars Liquides. Here she is relaxing in her trailer between takes.

Credits to creators
MetaTheodora, Star of Venus Ballgown (NEW, on Marketplace; ty Sian!)
MIASNOW Skin – WALKER Betty (insanely beautiful painted skin, comes with five lipsticks and eyebrow tat, and with a shape that can only be described as harrowingly hollow-cheeked) (NOW at Pumpkin Town event at Potpourri Markets until the end of October)
MIASNOW Eyes – PALE (at Marquis Market)
Lolas ::: Tango ::: Mesh Breasts
booN KGI848 hair purple
booN gathered raised hairbase purple
E-Clipse, O-X Necklace- Rare (AngelBlue) (at OriMeCre gacha; more info:
:Hebenon Vial: Pitch Piercings [Ink, V.1]
Apple Spice, Gown pack
floorplan, teardrop trailer
location, photo 1: Hangars Liquides
GIMPed but not PIMPed



Yeah, so I did this. I like it. You probably won’t. (It’s been that kind of day.) Of note: the Twisted Hunt gift from Mystic Canvass comprises an alabaster skin in three makeups, with MC’s signature A cup and D cup variations for the chest shading. Oh, btw, if you zoom close on the Wasabi Pills hair—which is my fave ever of Miss Lemon’s designs—you will see what I would describe as weird shit sticking out of it. This is some kind of special seasoning added by my new (work) computer, which runs the current viewers only because it wants to mess with my pics.


Joy Laperriere of Shi does amazing accessories with strips of leather. The latest VIP group gift is a set of unisex ear cuffs with a HUD for metal and leather colour change. In addition to black, there’s caramel, dark green and dark red leather options.

Credits to creators
:LP::: Long_Tee [Soot] – XS (recent fi*friday)
[Mystic Canvass] Heckle Skin A-Cup Intrevert (Twisted Hunt gift contains three different makeups)
.Shi : Journey Earring [Unisex] {Luxe Gift} (new VIP gift; fee to join)
.Olive. the Maybe they’re real Bracelet Freebie WHITE (on Marketplace)
LaGyo,_Valma bangle (at Collabor88) (I modded the yellow bits)
/Wasabi Pills/ Skye Mesh Hair – Ethereal
:::Sn@tch Nail Candy (Lapis):::
label motion poses, Draya pack
GIMPed where necessary

You look so obscene

perositl Hair Fair ends on the 28th, so you have time to pretend that you’re not so vain about your av’s looks that you’d go back for a fourth trip. And then go. Zib Scaggs of Zibska offers you Pero and four other avant-garde, runway-perfect styles. Each of her hairdos comes in a pack of black, brown, blonde, red and white. None is scripted to detonate in the presence of your frenemies. Remarkable Obivion’s demented drooling boots are available at Fameshed. If you get the correct angle with your Windlighting, you can cast an awesome shadow of that teethy, tonguey jaw.
notinluvl I figure it’s all good as long as I’m the only one who’s scared. (How could I resist? Those creepy spiky shadows are cast by the oh-so-innocent-acting hair!!)

Credits to creators
Zibska, Pero hair (NEW at Hair Fair; ty Zib!)
Remarkable Oblivion – Hobnails – FEMALE – LEATHER -SMALL (NEW at Fameshed)
:Emery – Mesh Dress Embellished Ehrmantraut Grey – S
:[Plastik]:- Astrali Skin[Toned-Down]:// Calypso (was a special)
[theSkinnery] Twighlight-unisex makeup (truly terrifying, for the Makeup and Tattoo hunt)
*SoliDea FoliEs* chameleon – rings
.Shi : Stone Necklace {Long}
:[Plastik]:- Krosis Earring //NewYorke
*League* Side-Gartered Stockings -Black -Black Garter
:::Sn@tch, Nail Candy (Blood):::
poses by PDA (not available)
GIMP is no slouch

Playtime for Portia


I officially inform my readers that Portia’s Swallow skin and WTG collar, which are both fabulous, are available at Limited Bazaar for another week. With this formal blog business concluded, I consider myself free to fulfill one of my fantasies: writing about my experience of sexual submission. (If that’s the first line of 50 Shades of Gray, it’s not a citation. I’ve invested too much time in reading unrespectable erotica to go legit in an airport bookstore.) This is newbie stuff for me, and still virtual in the sense that the man I play with lives far far away. I enjoy our complicity as we concoct a scenario. I believe that he likes me ungagged and uncompromising as much as he likes me gagged and pliable. (Of course, this relationship will fall apart and I will hate the [future] son-of-a-bitch, but probably not before server-side baking locks me out of SL. So you get to read the happy part of the story. Only my therapist will have to deal with the sad.) Nothing that I’ve read about BDSM prepared me for the emotional dimension of my recent experiences. I’ve discovered that the eroticization of feelings like humiliation and the need to please makes those feelings pleasurable. This reminds me of Freud’s concept of humour as a means of overcoming a threat to the ego, except in submission one experiences the threat rather than trying to evade it with a joke. Of course, both of these strategies involve play, which, for me, right now, is the foundation of the D/S relationship.
clpcolll The other astonishing thing about the emotions I’m describing is the simple fact that I’m having them. I have never felt humiliated by someone and never felt a bewildered hurt at being misused. This despite the fact that I’ve had lovers who did humiliate me and did mistreat me in garden-variety ways. In those situations I was aware of feeling anger and despair, reactive emotions rather than the emotions that preceded the reactions. Wanting to please someone has never been part of my emotional makeup. (Oh so symmetrically, I have never consciously wanted to be pleased by someone. My pleasure has always felt like my responsibility.) In the situation of playing sub to my dom, I feel an overwhelming need to please him, which, oddly enough, I enjoy. As much as submission forces, or allows, me to exist in a simpler and more malleable form of myself, it also permits, and perhaps requires, me to feel fierce. I’ve discovered that allowing myself to be diminished ritually has the effect of expanding me. (Not every time, of course, and not during every moment of a play session. If my blog entry makes you feel like trying this at home, consider that a penis gag is just uncomfortable if there’s no compelling reason to keep it on.)

Credits to creators
^^Swallow^^ Anja Limited Bazar Ivory (A)
Miss Shippe’s Studio, gold breasts like Midas bukake (gacha)
MONS / Shocking eyes – brown
Dura, Girl 27(Black)resize
Countdown. Karolina Gold Corset S
+:+WTG+:+ **Black Queen** collar (at Limited Bazaar)
Fleshtone :: Vanity Studded Cuffs
HOC Industries – Thigh Boots (Extra Small)
PIDIDDLE – Sharp Nails – Silver Glitz (old gift)
ooo Studio and Gos, Pose Pouf
GIMPed but not PIMPed